I completely agree

This is a great post and worth reposting. If you earned your body - show it off - vanity is health -eff the haters!

http://fastpaleo.com/vanity-is-healthy/

Peace! Stay Paleo - cause your body shouldn't be a waste basket!!!

Poop….cause poop is funny.

OK, let me say that although I absolutely love “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” I don’t necessarily find the topic of poop all that funny…well maybe a little bit…OK it depends on the situation.

Pooping is one of those topics that no one wants to talk about. It’s gross, it smells bad, and it puts you in a vulnerable position grunting one out with your pants around your ankles. But it’s a great indicator of how things are doing inside in a very general basis (no fancy glucometer required). Poop should be brown in color, sink slowly and should smell like shit. When your poop stinks the digestive enzymes and bacteria in your gut are alive and flourishing!

OK enough shit talking…..as many of you know I was giving Intermittent Fasting (IF) a drive to try and gain some control over my blood sugar levels. This was a great tool for me when I was training every other day for maintenance – but since I started training for the Metro Dash I have upped the frequency and the intensity of my workouts…..and IF is not working so good for me. I’m hungry and I am not doing IF to develop anorexia – when I set out to try IF I said if I got too hungry I’d eat…well I’ve been more hungry than my 4 hour window was allowing me.

I am past the stage in my life where I am going to worry about timing each meal for accuracy – so when IF became a numbers game I said fuck it. However I still have the glucose issue. WTF? And sometimes even when I am practicing IF 90 minutes after a meal I am still not back down to 80-90 glucose levels AND these meals are simple Paleo eats…no “sugars” to spike – so WTF is going on?!?

Well low and behold some other “problems” cropped up and I had to figure out (yet again) what was going on…here is how it started.

I started to notice my pee was dark, and being a good trained Marine we always pay attention to the color of our pee, no matter how much water I was drinking it was still pretty dark. Being the compulsive loser that I am I set out on a search to figure out what was going on. My journey started with water and I am not sure how deep I should delve here because the science on this seems sketchy – you can Google “what water is best to drink” and you get varied opinions – unless I know who is giving their opinion on the other end of the internet, their background and can verify that they aren’t selling something or a 22 year old kid who thinks he knows everything about nutrition because he reads Muscle Fitness, I disregard. And so came the next problem.

Ahhh, then came the constipation. Yep, 8 days worth – I know it’s embarrassing to even put it into print – poop is definitely not funny when you aren’t doing it. At first I tried telling myself that my body was so efficient it was using up every morsel (another IASIP reference) – but then I came to my senses and bought a bottle of magnesium citrate and the good times rolled….figuratively speaking of course.

Magnesium makes you poop…how weird…hmmm…let’s do a Google search on magnesium. Turns out I don’t consume any foods that contain real quantitative levels of magnesium. Foods with high levels of magnesium are fish, grains, dairy, nuts, beans, soy, bananas and potatoes. I don’t eat any of those foods. Spinach and broccoli are on the list too and I do eat these foods but not like I should. I usually eat asparagus. OK so it is a safe bet to say I need magnesium…but why?

Mineral deficiency can lead to insulin resistance….ding, ding, ding! It can also lead to constipation, irregular heartbeats, high blood pressure, excessive muscle soreness and migraines. I don’t suffer from irregular heartbeats or high blood pressure and I don’t think what I experience is a migraine, but it can take me a good two hours to shake off a mild headache in the morning. I dread waking up in the morning – as soon as I start to wake up I can feel it coming on. I thought it was from sleeping funny so I bought a fancy pillow, no help. If I wanted to have a few drinks I’d make sure I did it early in the afternoon because going to bed with even one glass of wine coursing through my veins was a sure way to wake up with a full fledge hangover. Consuming alcohol reduces magnesium. HOLY SHIT! This is all starting to fit together.

We have these two underrated, walnut sized glands that sit over are kidneys called the adrenal glands. The adrenal glands get stressed and fatigued when we don’t consume enough magnesium, potassium and sodium. Why should you give a flying fuck about stressing your adrenal glands. Well when they are stressed you get fat, you don’t sleep well or you can’t fall asleep, your libido suffers, you are nervous, you have cravings, hormone imbalances, high blood sugar levels and your fatigued and you get sick easily.

Your adrenal glands produce adrenaline, cortisol, estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and DHEA. Cortisol has an important function in the body but when you are under undue stress your body produces too much cortisol. Too much cortisol causes inflammation, high blood pressure, and decreases your sensitivity to insulin. DHEA is also called the youth hormone – cortisol suppresses DHEA – not good for those of us that would like to retain are youthful looks past 40. There are many reasons for additional stress: your job, taking care of kids, exercising, marital problems, money problems, etc. But additional stress also comes from mineral deficiencies – MY problem! Is my mineral deficiency causing higher blood sugar levels and the constipation?

Most importantly…..if so how do I fix this! Well it turns out all I need to do is add a magnesium and potassium pill and start consuming more spinach. Popeye would be proud! But I am going to steer you back to the water conundrum. I like the taste of distilled water or purified water. Spring water has always tasted “soft” to me. Well turns out that distilled and purified water have all the potassium, magnesium and sodium that is naturally in well and spring water, removed. So I was pretty much screwing myself left, right and sideways with the whole mineral thing.
I am on day two of my mineral supplements and drinking nasty ass spring water and eating spinach with every meal. I will let you know how this positively or negatively affects my blood sugar levels. I need to buy some testing strips – I should hopefully have an idea if this is helping in a week.

Whiny Wednesday

Be forewarned….this isn’t for the kiddies.

Yesterday I came up with a list of things I hate. I’m not looking for solutions but if you would like to comment, rant or add to the list please feel free.

I hate how some people walk in flip flops. They drag their feet and it makes that god awful “skhaff, skhaff” noise. Pick up your fucking feet you lazy bastard!

I hate business cards. Man where the hell am I supposed to put this tiny ass 2”x4” piece of paper? In my wallet? Yeah, right, like I don’t have enough random shit in there and this is not getting added. Puh-lease if I want to get a hold of you ten bucks says I can figure it out without this card. My official new name for business cards is “here, YOU throw this away for me.”

I hate the asshole that stands too close to you while waiting in line at customs. I can hear you suck your teeth, smell your breath and you keep brushing my ass. YOU’RE TOO DAMN CLOSE! When I turned around and gave you the back the fuck up look I wasn’t joking. So now when I turn around and push you back don’t look surprised. You standing on my heels doesn’t make the line move any faster asshole.

I hate Hooters. I walk in and get scoffed at by the bitch serving beer and blue balls to assholes with Myoplex guts, fat lats, strange over groomed facial hair squeezed into a Tap Out t-shirt. These bitches should realize that almost everyone has waited tables at some point in their life and recognize the importance of a tip. But because you want to be a snot rag I’ll tip you 10 percent and btw asshole in the Tap Out shirt my husband could mud stomp the shit out of you and your rat pack of bitches. He actually DOES train.

I hate dust. Can someone explain why I vacuum, dust and wipe stuff down every day and minutes later there is a new layer of dust settling. How long do German Sheppard’s live again?

I hate Sara on Hot 99.5’s voice and advice. I can’t stand this woman’s voice and arrogance. She thinks her opinion is worth a shit. Her advice IS shit. Hence why she doesn’t have a boyfriend nor any prospects and lies about the fact that she’s 29. The only reason to have a melt down over 30 is because you are a loser and your life sucks. Shut the fuck up and try listening skill level #5 and you may get a life. Two ears, one mouth bitch.

Last and certainly not least I hate the disease bipolar. You have taken a woman and made her unrecognizable, unbearable and intolerable. Fuck you bipolar, Fuck you.

Nuff said. Peace out – Stay Paleo.

You are O-KAY

If you come to my gym while I am working out and if you can hear over the Black Eyed Peas, you will hear me screaming “You are O-KAY” over and over. This is my mantra. This is my partner.

I have been without a training partner since October. And it sucks. I also switched gyms at the same time. I went from working out at the PAC (Pentagon Athletic Club) to working out in the fortress of solitude my husband built for me in our basement. Our home gym isn’t the typical home gym. My husband bought or built me industrial equipment. My husband can build anything, he’s like Jesus. I can do Crossfit, Parkour, and Olympic weightlifting all in the comfort of my own home. There is no drive to the gym, I can wear as little as I want (not wearing a shirt while you work out is a huge motivator – nothing like looking down and seeing your gut pour over your elastic waist band to keep you from cheating on your reps), I can use as much chalk as I want, and I can listen to my music as loud as I want.

But training in my gym with no one else around has turned out to be quite the challenge. No one is there to keep me honest on my reps, watch and correct my form and most importantly there is no one else’s energy to feed off of. I’ve dumped training partners in the past for bringing negative energy with them in the gym. I can’t do that, I can’t lift that heavy, blah blah blah, nothing but excuses – and wondering why they never make gains….or loses. Hmmm, I wonder. If it’s easy – it doesn’t work.

My partner has become my inner voice – the energy I feed from is my own. I convince myself to do one more round, to sprint 10 more seconds, I take pictures and video to make sure my form is good to go.

When I feel that burn in my stomach, my inner voice starts to whisper…stop…but then the voice gets stronger and louder and it is eventually screaming STOP! But I can’t – because I am OKAY!
My muscles are fatigued and they have that strange burn, heavy feeling and weakness to them. My head isn’t able to quite focus 100 percent and it is easy to placate and stop and take deep breaths to regain my composure. But I’d rather pass out sprinting on the treadmill and end up with skid mark burns on my forehead than fail this test. This is the most important test – this is the test that lets me know that ME, MYSELF and I am the only person I need to get this done.

I don’t have a training partner right now. I am without. This is a tough path to travel alone. But that’s OKAY, because I am OKAY – I am loyal and disciplined enough to train hard on my own. To push myself to the point where each training session is the best it could be. I can recognize that if I feel I can only do 2 I should do 3 rounds of shuttle runs – if I set out to do 5 rounds and at 4 I want to quit that I can’t. Not because anyone else will find out – but because I will know – and that is worse. You can foul others into thinking you are a bad ass – but you have to BE a bad ass to convince yourself.

So go train – and train hard – don’t cheat - cause YOU are watching YOU.

Happy Father's Day

I’m sitting in my kitchen and all is quiet. The kids are starting to stir, I can hear the toilet flush and the faucets running and the dogs have disappeared to go and say good morning to them. Sydney has a new bug infatuation. She has a bottle full of beetles that have been putting a whoop ass on my roses – I guess that’s one way to get rid of them. She told me last night she plans to collect as many as she can today. Rachel is going to try and cut back on sugar today as she “went for it” (her words) yesterday. We may go to the pool if it stops raining. It’s a typical weekend when Ray works. We all mill around doing stuff until about 3:00 then we gather in the kitchen to wait for him to come home – then our day really starts.

The key to our happy family is having each family member have equal roles in the family. I’ve heard women say that their kids trump their husband. Or the husband says the baby comes first. I think this is utter bullshit and a piss poor way to run the family. If my husband were to get KIA our family would never be the same, he is irreplaceable. If something were to happen to my plane on Tuesday as I fly to Hawaii my family would never be the same. If something were to happen to either of the girls our family would never be the same. It’s that simple. I suspect that all families are the same in that regards. The problem is how a family shows on a daily basis how much they mean to each other…..busy or not.

I read this article yesterday and it made me sad for these families. http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/06/16/pearlman.fathers.day/index.html?hpt=op_r1

I couldn’t imagine having read this article and relating to it. Or thinking this would be a good article for my spouse to read in hopes it would jostle their parental instinct. If you read this article and think this your family is in trouble. Sorry – that’s just a fact.

I am very lucky. Ray is an awesome father and he needs no advice from Jeff Pearlman. If you were to ask me to put it into words why Ray is such a great dad I can’t – there are so many little things that he does – and the little things are what matters. He is always willing to play, whether it be tic tac toe at a restaurant, wrestling on the living room carpet, having tea with dolls, reading stories, or letting the girls give him a makeover….his toes nails are usually peddy’d up with some weird combination of black, purple and orange AND he wears flip flops all summer. The girls can always talk him into letting them practice painting on his toes and he leaves it on until it grows out. If you know my husband than you know he isn’t gay, besides it is the worst pedicure ever - no gay man would be caught flashing it off with pride like Ray does. The funny thing is when most guys see Ray’s toe nails they ask “You got girls, huh?”

When I was pregnant with Rachel I had quite a few problems. I had trouble gaining weight (only 8#s at 8 months and I ate so bad….makes me cringe when I think of the stuff I ate). At 28 weeks her heart beat became erratic and they sent me for tests to see if her heart was developing correctly. We found out during that ultrasound that we were having another girl. I thought Ray might be disappointed if we had another girl. But when the doctor told us that HER heart was fine and that SHE was developing perfectly and that we didn’t need to buy any new clothes – Ray flashed the same big smile that he had shown when I told him I was pregnant. He didn’t care if the baby was a boy or girl – as long as she was healthy – he was just excited to be a dad. He just LOVES being a dad and he’s really good at it.

There are so many nights when we are all home from work and school and we are just doing mundane things like dinner, packing lunches, cleaning up from dinner, whatever family chore that needs to be done and we are all in hysterics because of the jokes we all make. Rachel made a “rain stick” at school last week and she thinks it sounds really good. She’s been shaking it and dancing to it and to her the different shakes makes different noises – she’ll say listen to this one! And shake, shake, shake….it sounds horrible. But we all grin and give her thumbs up. As she was shaking out a new tune last night Ray told her to take out the garbage. Her reply? I’m a house band, I don’t travel. After composing himself Ray said, Hey Eddie Vedder take it on the road. Of course Rachel had NO CLUE what that meant but she shook her rain stick, her little butt and the garbage right outside laughing the whole way.

It’s these little things that make the best place for me to be right at home with my family. So on Father’s Day I’d like to say thank you not only to Ray for being a fantastic dad but to the girls for being fantastic kids. I’ve got an amazing family and I’m really lucky.

Happy Dad's Day, Ray. We love you.

Slobber Worthy...a local review

Slobber is such a gross word. It’s gross when you do it….but oh man when you slobber it’s because something is THAT good.

As I train for the Metro Dash I am pushing myself a little further, training a bit harder than I anticipate the Dash to be. I want to be prepared – I want to blow through this effin’ thing! Booya! (9 July at 1330 in DC if you are around come scream for me)

But training harder also means I am much sorer. Now I blogged before about the Asians at the Mall that give a great massage but with few detail; when I tell people that I get my massages at the Mall I get a cockeyed look. They say you are supposed to buy shoes at the Mall, Ang, or maybe CDs, not get rubbed on. But they are THE best massage therapists I have ever been too.

They don’t require you to join anything, they don’t want my email address, they don’t have me fill out a medical questionnaire, they don’t ask if I am on any medication…hell they don’t even ask my name…..and if you want to get right down to it they don’t speak English…at least not well enough to hold a conversation. It’s best just to point to the sore places and have at it.

I tried Massage Envy and haaa-tiddit. I spent 20 minutes filling out paperwork, waited another 20 minutes for my “therapist”, waited in the room for 10 minutes til she came in only to argue about me leaving my clothes on….I don’t know it must be the cop’s wife in me…but I am not going to get naked anywhere in public….what if someone comes in to rob the place? Am I supposed to run out the back door or fight someone naked?

Besides if you are going to rub on my glutes I want more than a sheet between my butt crack and your hand.

90 minutes later I am trying to pay the $49 for the crappy massage I got…I think she was irritated I wouldn’t take off my panties…but now I am wasting another 20 minutes arguing that I don’t want to join the “one massage a month for $49.99 plus tax club”…it’s a really good deal she insisted....roll eyes. I left more irritated than when I went in.

So back to the Mall – my girl’s name is Moon, she is fan-fuk-ing-tas-tic. I point to what hurts, she lays me down, she has a great smile she flashes constantly and she says thank you a few dozen times – then she's off to work. Now I’ve tried to have Ray give me a massage at home before and I point and tell him where it hurts and he says here, here? No, no, over….don’t you feel a knot? His response, Nope feels fine. With Moon she starts working on my muscles and I feel her hit a spot that is tender and all the sudden she her hands stop traveling and she starts kneading the shit out of it. I almost can’t breathe while she manipulates and maneuvers that knot into a muscle slushy. The best part?! I’m slobbering. I know, it’s SO gross – I am literally drooling right onto the floor. It’s THAT good.

So if you are anywhere near the St. Charles Town Mall in Waldorf, MD go see Moon at Natural Relaxation Center. You’ll drop $30 for the best 30 minutes of your life. You will thank me. If she isn’t there then make sure you get one of the other females, every time I’ve gotten one of the guys it isn’t as good. Sorry, I’m not being a dick…it’s just not slobber worthy.

Comfort Zone

Revvin' up your engine……Listen to her howlin' roar

Metal under tension……Beggin' you to touch and go

Highway to the Comfort Zone…Ride into the Comfort Zone

Out along the edges, Always where I burn to be…..The further on the edge, The hotter the intensity


Gonna take it right into the Comfort Zone


Yeah, I know it’s not quite the same song when you add in “Comfort” is it?


Doesn’t quite take you to Top Gun - where when the movie is over you go buy cool aviator sun glasses to wear in a bar and spout verbatim random movie lines with your buddies at the gayest moments.
Add in comfort and it’s like watching the movie on TBS with 40, seven-minute long commercial breaks and all the sex scenes cut out. Afterwards all you can think of is what Kelly McGillis looks like now and the fact that she is NOT a hot lesbian...it would've been better if she would have announced she was gay 20 years ago....just sayin'....


Your workouts aren’t going to be the same if you stay in your Comfort Zone – there is no place for the Comfort Zone in the gym. PERIOD.

Good athletes know that you are going to have to be OK with being uncomfortable when you train. Success and being uncomfortable are like peanut butter and jelly. The Comfort Zone will make you soft – or keep you soft if you are just starting out.


There are hundreds of ways to train – but there is only ONE attitude to train with. Skip the comfort, make the gains, reap the rewards.


Next time you are training don’t stop when you get winded on that sprint, take a few more steps.


Don’t be scared of being uncomfortable – embrace it, call it lovingly to you. “Here pain, pain, pain. Come here girl, that’s it….crawl right into my lap!” If you fall seven times you need to get up eight. (Japanese Proverb)
Pain of regret or pain of discipline…it’s your choice. The plaque for the alternates is down in the ladies room.....that was Iceman in case you haven't seen the movie ;-)

Third Grade is done? Nooooooo!

Rachel loves horror movies. Her favorite is Child’s Play, she is very twisted. Both of my daughters have scoffed at movies that I saw at their age that gave me nightmares for YEARS! When we watched Nightmare on Elm Street they told us it was cheesy! My jaw dropped! Freddy Kruger haunted me until I was at least 23. Watching it as an adult and with movie technology – well it is kind of cheesy.

My daughters always ask me if I believe in “monsters”….and I do. You don’t spend three years working in a Brig’s legal office reading through court documents and not get exposed to real life monsters. The guy that couldn’t take his 18-month old crying so he slammed her head with the refrigerator door and then put her to bed; later his wife found the baby hemorrhaging; the baby is brain dead. What a jem he is; his parents are probably really proud. Or the nut job I went to high school with who shot and dismembered a couple they met while vacationing. They then dumped the bodies in a dumpster and went on with their beach vacation. They got caught B&Eing a Hooters a few days later and the sick-o had bullet casings, the dead couple’s jewelry and license on her. Sad part about this story is her parents ARE proud of her! So yes, monsters do exist, just most of the time they aren’t burned beyond recognition and wear a creepy hat. They look like everyone else and can even function in society….at least for a little while.

But there are also amazing people out there that you would call a “godsend”. This is a picture of Mrs. Eileen Holden; she is Rachel’s third grade teacher. Mrs. Holden is a monumental person in helping with Rachel’s celiac disease. When Rachel first got diagnosed the biggest challenge turned out to be school. Although I have packed both of my daughter’s lunches since they started school, call me crazy but fish sticks, chicken nuggets, pizza, frittatas (what is that anyways?), spaghetti and the infamous mixed vegetables from a can do not need to be in anyone’s diet let alone a growing mind, that wasn’t the challenge. The challenge was in the classroom, the birthday parties, or the “Big Event”. There are cupcakes, cookies, brownies, pizza, pies, even ice cream – you truly don’t realize how much crap has wheat in it until you have someone that absolutely CANNOT have it in their diet. No more cookies and cream ice cream, butterfinger toppings, cones, waffle bowls or crunch anything.

We were cruising into about week three of Rachel being gluten-free and her stomach pains completely gone and she came home from school one day unusually quiet, and if you know Rachel she is NEVER quiet. I kept asking her what was wrong and she kept saying nothing but I could tell she just wasn’t ready to talk about it. I finally got it out of her and she told me someone had brought in cupcakes at school for a birthday party and she was very upset that it just sat on her desk in front of her and she couldn’t eat it. Although she really, really wanted to. And all the kids looked like they were really having fun and enjoying their cupcake. Life just wasn’t fair, and she asked why she had to have celiac. My heart broke for her – as an adult it is easy to understand that you shouldn’t eat something because of health reasons or to look cute in shorts – but as a kid it’s a tough pill to swallow.

If you are a parent you know how hard communication is with your child’s teacher. Even with phones in the classroom, email and the standard school visits it can be difficult for them to juggle 20 kids and all their parents. Establishing a relationship with the person that spends more time with your child during the week than you do can be a challenge. And when you or your child isn’t having a good school experience life just isn’t as good as it could be.

I sent a note in to Mrs. Holden to see if we could come up with a solution – maybe Rachel could be excused while the other kids ate cupcakes and could she keep an eye on the food choices Rachel was making during the “Big Event” while Rachel learned what all had wheat in it. If I knew all the birthdays of the kids in the class I could have gluten free cupcakes on hand to send in. (yeah, I know that is absurd – you promise the craziest stuff when your baby is crying and you want to fix it for them?)


Mrs. Holden’s note back was a keeper, but what was even more amazing was how the rest of the school year has gone. Mrs. Holden explained to me that she has celiac disease too! And that she would be more than willing to keep gluten-free treats in the class and when there were parties she would let Rachel choose one of those treats while the others had their cupcakes. She even talked to the class about why Rachel was eating something different and the way she explained it got all the other kids on board of the “help Rachel stay gluten-free” wagon. (Can you picture a small town’s alcoholic – his truck is parked outside the local bar and the town folk run in and slap the drink out of his hand and drag him out!)


Mrs. Holden also helped Rachel make good choices on a field trip to Sarku – did you know there is wheat in soy sauce!! I sure didn’t. She has been monumental in helping Rachel cope with celiac and Ray and I are very thankful that she came into our life. I should mention that she is also a fabulous academic teacher and not just a good gluten guard =) She is a no excuses kind of gal – I love it. She doesn’t accept any excuses on why you can’t do something or why you didn’t follow the directions. The kids know they walk the line with her and I am truly sad to say good-bye to her this year as Rachel moves on to 4th grade. But I am confident that the skills Mrs. Holden has shown Rachel will set her up for success in 4th grade. Thank you, Mrs. Holden.


A few other people that have been godsends in the celiac hurdle: Michelle Lavendar. Michelle is Kayla's mom. Kayla is Rachel's BFF =) When Rachel hangs out at Kayla's house Michelle always makes sure she has gluten free snacks for Rachel and Kayla loves Rachel so much for her birthday she insisted her mom get an ice cream only cake so that Rachel wasn't left out =) An absolutely amazing mom. Thank you, Michelle.

Theresa Goven, Rachel's "new" Nana. Theresa recently married Larry - Larry works with Ray and is a very good friend. They bought a house in our neighborhood recently and Theresa has adopted our kids as her own grandkids - although I'm not so sure she's old enough ;-) Theresa has gone out of her way to get schooled up on "what has wheat" and always makes sure she has gluten free food at her house for when Rachel comes over to visit. Thank you, Theresa, it means a lot that our friends are on board with helping us keep Rachel healthy.

I'm gonna pull up

It turns out my way may not actually be the best way…..WHAT!!! I know this is very shocking. I’m still a little floored over this revelation.
There are two ways to show strength: Pulling Up or Pushing Down.

The funny thing is I have this saying written on my gym wall; turns out I didn’t know what the eff it actually meant until this past weekend. I was in denial on my own ability to carry out Pulling Up.

I went with my sister to an abbreviated version of Senior Week this past weekend; she just graduated high school. Like most high school graduates she is off to college and has no idea of “what she wants to be when she grows up”. I made the standard joke well I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, ha ha ha ha. She gave me her version of “the polite smile” and started to turn her attention elsewhere. I saw my window of opportunity closing. The way it closed when I suggested she join the military; close when I suggested she come and live with me and go to college; as that window started to close I realized I wasn’t to get many more chances to give her solid advice before she started viewing me as just another nagging adult.

So I took a different approach and I started asking her questions. AND I LISTENED. I resisted the urge to give her advice…seeming how I know everything this was really hard. I began an interaction that gave her the physical and mental state to think on her own, I asked questions that put her thoughts into simple thoughts and let her make positive decisions on her own.
She’s at that age and cross roads where she wants to make her own decisions but is afraid. She wants someone to tell her what to do but wants to make her own mind on up. She’s got the whole world at her feet and just as it should be….it’s overwhelming.

The truth of the matter is if she doesn’t like the college she chose she can transfer – this seems like such a waste and such a big inconvenience when you are young but as you get older you realize it’s all about making those decisions and not just doing what is easiest. We talked about how she doesn’t have to decide exactly what she wants to be until she had the two years of general education requirements and she’d be two whole years wiser ;-). We talked about job shadowing, and we talked about what she feels passionate about. Because natural talent DOES matter – you may not get rich but you’ll sure as hell be happy and that is way more important.
We had a discussion where she listened to me and I said very little. I Pulled her Up by listening to her and getting her to talk vice Pushing her Down with my advice and talk.

If you live a Paleo lifestyle you probably get asked on a regular basis about your food choices. It’s hard in a five minute conversation to tell a person all about lectin, glucose levels and leaky gut syndrome. It’s simple to say it’s like Atkins and then abruptly end the conversation because their criticism of your “fad diet” pisses you off.

A true show of strength is to let no one come to you without leaving better or happier.
Denial is convincing yourself it can wait until another day, or that you’ll start living a healthier lifestyle after one more “cheat” meal or skipping another chance to exercise. Denial is telling yourself you really aren’t “that” overweight.

If you don’t know anyone that can Pull you Up then you have to take the initiative to Pull yourself Up. You look in the mirror and you say this isn’t about what I don’t have but what I do have and getting started. Doing the best you can in that very moment so you set yourself up for success in the next – because the breath you are taking right now is the only one you know you have for sure.

Next time someone asks you about the Paleo lifestyle explain that eating this way reduces inflammation – and btw inflammation should be feared as the “new cholesterol”. Inform them that eating Paleo allows the body to shed excess body fat and have more energy and mental focus. If they still seem interested explain how their food pyramid will look: meats, veggies, eggs and nuts with some fruit. If they are still hanging in there suggest Robb Wolf’s book “The Paleo Diet Solution” or Art DeVany’s “The Evolution Diet” or one of the many great blogs out there…ehh-emmm…MINE! And then check in with them periodically to see how they are doing. They may have taken your advice and they may have chucked it to the way side. Forgive them and keep an open mind….and remember if everyone ate Paleo our economy would probably crash….at least you can Pull yourself Up ;-)

Roll it out

If you are active in the gym then you have gotten an injury(ies) before, or you are still battling one or worse....many.

If you have an injury it's for one of a few reasons - you train stupid, you don't stretch or you had a freak accident. And I've seen some freaky stuff - someone - who shall remain nameless - pulled a 45# plate off the barbell BEFORE pulling the 35# that was in front of it and smashed their toes to hell and back. NOT pretty....and unfortunately you need your toes to do....well a lot of stuff.

Now I'm not 100 percent sure I've found the best way to train so I am not going to touch on whether you are training stupid - I have my ego moments like most of us.

And the freaky stuff....well that's just being at the wrong place at the wrong time, I can't help you with that either.

What I have become really good at appreciating and doing is stretching. One of my favorite exercises is using my medicine ball as a rolling pin. (I don't have a foam roller and I am a cheap ass - I aqcuired the med ball years ago for $5....so med ball it is...and hell I don't use the damn thing for anything else!)

I developed my love of stretching out of sheer desparation. I hurt my shoulder in Oct 2008 (the day this picture was taken) trying to keep up with the big a$$ gorilla in the picture above. That was the GySgt that was part of my Admin team - great guy - beast of a guy- bench pressed 400# kinda guy. Here was my ego moment.....We had our Admin PT and he decided he wanted to pound out a few bench presses - being the team player I am I said OK I'll play - I threw on 135#s and busted out one rep. My bench press form is historically shitty.

I went down too fast and felt a sharp pain, hmmm...that wasn't good. So like the good idiot...or you can call me simple, I hear stupid people prefer that...I kept going. Later in the locker room my shoulder cooled off at a lightning fast pace and I could barely get dressed or fix my hair.

Keeping true to form I swallowed more motrin and aleve than recommended - truly testing my liver and kidney's ability to process anti-inflammatories, iced, heated and most of all bitched for the next three months. What I didn't do was let it rest. "Why isn't it heaaalllling?" I'd whine to Ray and he being the good husband would just say, "give it time."

I went to see Dr. Ferrero in January - I definitely recommend him if you are in the Southern Maryland area or can drive to see him. Anyways, he gave me a cortisol shot, told me to rest, ice and go get an MRI. The cortisol made me feel better so keeping on the idiot pattern I skipped the MRI and went straight back into the gym.

I think you can see the pattern here...fastforward two years (yeah TWO years) and I am in Dr. Ferrero's office and he says to me...I don't want to see you again, you are your own worst enemy and I can't help you. Well my initially reaction was what an asshole....however you gotta love a guy that doesn't sugar coat shit for ya.

He was right - at this point I wasn't even going to Dr. Ferrero for my shoulder, I had developed sciatica, hip flexor pain, neck and jaw pain and tingling in my right hand. Yeah....I was FALLING APART.

So taking matters into my own hands I found that the Asian's at the Mall gave a great, torturous massage for $30 and if after I worked out I actually stretched....and not just my shoulder...my WHOLE body - the pain would go away....everywhere.

Something else crazy happened...I got stronger on my dead lift, I was actually able to do presses again and even better if I got stuck in crazy DC traffic (which is frequent) I wasn't close to tears when I finally was able to get out of the car because I no longer had that sciatica nerve pain!! Woo-hoo!!

If you want to be a better athlete you need to stretch. If you want to be a stronger athlete you need to stretch. If you don't want to be injured and on the side lines boo-hooing then stretch. Don't make excuses - your muscles NEED to be stretched.

When you lift weights your muscles contract so it's either stretch 'em or tear 'em....your choice.

Fasting for Prayer

I’m an atheist so I am not starving myself for god – sorry for the false advertisement – but it got you in here didn’t it?

Brrewah (chill down the spine) - this chick is GROSS! I don't care how high you make her hair, how much make-up you cake on her eyes or how high her high heels are....she's effin gross!

I like to do some racy stuff – it gets people’s attention and it gets the point across. Sometimes I don’t know what point I am trying to make and sometimes the point I was trying to make is completely shattered.

When I started out doing my blood glucose testing I got quite a few WTF’s - but by the end I learned quite a bit and I hope even those that were skeptical were able to take away some good knowledge.

I am going to test drive intermittent fasting. My span will be 20 hours of fasting with a four hour window for eating. Why am I going to fast? I have perpetually high glucose readings and I am seriously tired of stressing about it. I want a solution and success just doesn’t happen – you have to have a plan!

I am the “never ending quest for the perfect diet” kinda gal – this in itself is stressful (which isn’t good for you either – I know). The more I learn the more I stress. After doing my 30-day glucose test (which I spanned down to two weeks because those stupid test strips are ‘spensive at $1 apiece) to my dismay I realized I couldn’t keep my glucose levels between 80-90 even on a very strict Paleo diet. I had my kind of WTF moment – which “Banana Splits and Intensity: This isn’t a Cult!” ( http://i-am-paleo.blogspot.com/2011/05/banana-splits-and-intensity-this-isnt.html) was inspired from….and after my little pity party for one and my whole in “moderation” speech I have come full circle back to why the hell can’t I regulate my blood glucose levels?

The moderation speech is bullshit. It is something we tell ourselves to justify our bad behaviors, nothing more and certainly nothing less. Define moderation and you will get all sorts of varied answers – in the end it is a snuggly pillow for your lack of discipline to lay it’s head on and rest.

So…back to the racy stuff…..my fasting – my goal is 20 hours; if during those 20 hours I am starving I will eat a mix of walnuts, pecans and almonds. This isn’t about starving myself it is about regulating glucose levels, reducing inflammation and better health. I will have my four hour eating window after I workout and on the days I do not workout I will reduce the eating window to one or two hours. I will report any light headedness, mental confusion, body composition changes, weight loss, blood glucose level changes, overall cholesterol, LDL, triglycerides, pulse and blood pressure via comments on this blog. (just to keep you checking back on my blog!!)

During my fast I will allow myself coffee (which I will be open and honest about I am back on heavy whipping cream…but I will use sparingly), green tea, and water. Hydration is important.

During my four hour eating window I will still remain Paleo – I am not using fasting as an excuse to binge on potato chips, French fries, and soda.
My goal with this is not to lose weight or body fat – if I do woo-hoo but this experiment is about optimal health. As you can see in this article here: (http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/11/08/twinkie.diet.professor/index.html) you CAN lose weight and even body fat from calorie restriction. I am not even sure if I want to touch on this article….oh, OK, you twisted my arm.

As you have read in my previous blogs I feel that calories in versus calories out is garbage – being healthy and losing weight is about WHAT you eat, not how much of it. But this professor has done an experiment – and I do love experiments – where he lives on nothing but 1800 calories of snack cakes and loses weight and body fat and as a result he has better cholesterol numbers. Great for him!!

However I would like to point out that he started at 34% body fat – so whatever he was consuming prior to this experiment had him maintaining a body fat 16% over ideal for a man - I don’t care that he CLAIMED he had a healthy diet the simple fact is that good food choices do not pack on that much fat. PERIOD. He ended at 25% - although he did great in losing 9% of fat – that is still too much fat for a man.
In the end optimal health and healthy weight come hand in hand and it is about the metabolic process which is NOT just calories, it also includes hormone regulation and I can guarantee if this professor would have been testing his blood sugar levels while on this sugar chaos diet it wouldn’t have made headline news on CNN. You have to sift through the garbage, people, you have to.

Another thing I would like to point out is that fasting can make Paleo affordable. I hear all the time from people who take a look at what Paleo consists of and they say I can’t afford it. My first reaction to that question is you probably can’t if your whole family doesn’t do it. It would be super expensive to buy groceries for a Paleo lifestyle and then the regular garbage the rest of the family would eat. In reality Paleo IS marginally more expensive especially when a family of four eats out. But if you fast for a few meals – it’s probably the same or maybe even less.

So back to ME! I am officially starting my experiment today; I am six hours into my first 20 hour fast. Woot! Wish me luck!!

The Food Pyramid is confusing??

Have any of you seen this?

The new US Department of Agriculture (USDA) -yes, USDA means Agriculture - not Dietary Association -guideline suggestion’s icon called MyPlate? It replaces the 1992 Food Pyramid. American Nutritionist’s claimed the Food Pyramid was too complicated and that is why chronic disease and obesity is so prevalent and continues to increase relentlessly in the American culture.

The Food Pyramid is complicated? Really? Wow, let me get this straight, eating 6-11 servings of grain a day is complicated? Can someone please explain that to me? Grains represent the largest and base portion of the pyramid because the USDA says that should be the majority of your diet. If you find the Food Pyramid confusing please shoot me an email and break it down for me. Don’t be offended when I email you back and call you a “simple, dumb ass”. Seriously if you can’t figure out the Food Pyramid’s suggestions then your diet is probably the least of your problems.

The 1992 Food Pyramid isn’t the problem; just like the 1970s version wasn't any better than the 1943 version. It’s the advice that is causing chronic disease, obesity, heart disease and a slew of other problems. You can sugar coat shit with a few options but in the end it's still shit.

First Lady Michelle Obama said she will continue to have conversations to promote well balanced meals and make the Myplate icon fun and simple. She also goes on to let the American people know that this will be a long term strategy to get health professionals, nutritionists, the community and national partners involved….this translates into spending money; which last I checked the government is broke. I guess when it comes to spending money to ensure that billionaires remain billionaires the Obama's can find a few extra dimes...it is almost re-election time.

I know I sound like I should sit in a corner with my rifle and polish my tin foil hat. But hear me out. Don't you find it a tad unreliable for the public to take advice from the Department of Agriculture? Seeming how their goal is to produce, sell and continue to get rich on agriculture? The Department of Agriculture is one of the wealthiest industries in America....only to be out incomed by the pharmaceutical industry….hmmm, see a pattern?

Let’s be honest, the American economy couldn’t handle for everyone to go Paleo. We wouldn’t need as much medicine, doctors, nurses, hospitals, Home Depot wouldn’t make a profit off the candy bar and soda you can buy when you buy the boards to fix your deck. Although I am being a tad dramatic, it isn't really a big conspiracy, but imagine if less people need medication - pharmaceuticals are multi-billion dollar corporations- if people stopped eating grains – the Agriculture industry is a multi-billion dollar organization - if people didn't need to shop at grocery stores - grocery stores are multi-billion dollar corporations – who would support their spoiled wives that are so used to botox, Armani shoes and hand bags, weekend shopping trips to Italy and summer vacations in France and fake boobs? Where would the income for their multi-million dollar homes and fleet of expensive, luxury cars? Sorry drama and tin foil hats.

But.....Money is power in any culture – and these companies have lots of power – they and their influence are not going anywhere. If you want to know what to eat to keep you healthy and fit you have to be willing to take a step away from the USDA’s MyPlate or Food Pyramid and take a step towards anthropology and biochemistry. And if you like to keep it simple – don’t worry I’ve got you covered and there are lots and lots of other blogs and websites to guide you on the true path to health:

Here is a few new one's for you to check out:

http://optimalhealthsource.blogspot.com/

www.primaltoad.com

The haters

The Naysayers, the pessimistic, the jerks, the negative influences in your life; the guy that always has negative banter, a piss poor attitude, complains excessively and is always downbeat. You know him or her - everyone has someone like this in their life and everyone deals with them in their own way.
Naysayers hate on others for all sorts of reasons: jealousy, personal insecurities, intimidation, their own effed up personality issue; but mostly they are projecting their own fears.

I am at a stage in my life – well I’ve actually been working on this stage for five years now – it’s definitely been a hard work in progress – which I am trying to become immune to the naysayers, cut them out, flick them right out of my life. I don’t want people around me that are going to try and scare me from moving forward with my life, my passions, my career, my marriage, my parenting.

I don’t know everything, hell the more I learn the more I realize I hardly have scratched the surface of worldly knowledge. I’ve noticed that naysayers are know-it-alls that hardly know anything; they project to know everything – they’ve been there and done that and it didn’t work for them and you should just sit and their shallow pool of poor me and wallow as well. But I’m not scared to learn and I’m not scared to admit I don’t know.

How do you deal with it? How do you deal with these people?

I’ve had a lot of people tell me that they have tried Paleo and when their family or friends or co-workers find out they are trying this lifestyle that they get ridiculed for it. Co-workers make it a point to bring donuts in to tempt them or family members berate them for not partaking in macaroni salad at the family picnic. Why? This is crazy – keep your failures to yourself naysayers.

I could be negative about my mom for hours– but it serves me no purpose. I’m an adult, I can control how much exposure I have with her and I can appreciate all the good about her without being disappointed in the relationship we have now.

My mom has a great smile – it’s contagious. When she smiles and laughs you cannot help but smile and laugh with her. When I was a kid my number one priority was to make my mom laugh and smile. I bent over backwards to complete my mission. My mom’s smile is so great that all the people in her life make this their mission.

When it was just me and my mom her favorite thing to do was go for late car rides with the sunroof open blaring music. My love of Rod Stewart, Phil Collins and Prince come from my mom. When she gave off her positive energy it was like a rainbow – it’d wash over me and gave me a ton of hope and make me look forward to the next day. We’d spend hours at the pool; she’d put baby oil on and bronze her skin – she was so beautiful. She has the best complexion and her hair was always in style – she knew how to dress to the “nines” and she was just beautiful to look at. She was the kind of woman that people paid attention to when she walked into a room.
These are the memories I keep and nurture in my mind and I let the bad stuff drain out so it doesn’t drain me.

I’m not good at relationships. I struggle with developing them and keeping them intact whether it’s with my parents, my siblings, my husband, my kids or friends. I work hard at my marriage every single day – because it is important to me. I am not foolish to think that my marriage is so strong that nothing can ruin it. It is strong because I actively DON’T let anything ruin it.

Parenting is hard – I struggle with new issues constantly – when the girls were little it was because I worked and they were in daycare, as they got a little bit older it was missing field trips with the school and when I could go in the mothers that were the class moms or never missed a field trip would snub their nose at me and make me feel like an outsider; I felt guilty because sometimes I just wanted to go out with my girlfriends and forget my responsibilities – drink too much, dance right out of my shoes and sleep my hang over off till noon (not wake up at 0530 to watch Blue’s Clues while dispensing Cheerios) but how can you be a good mom if you don’t want to be home with your kids in bed by 9 so you can be that fresh-faced ready to play mom?!! All these thoughts planted or expressed by the naysayers.

I live hours away from my siblings and I am also a lot older than them. It’s hard to find a balance of not being preachy and parental to being supportive and secretive. I still haven’t figured it out – just ask them =) my parents – well again I just choose to look at the good and ignore the rest – hating solves nothing.

So my question is how do YOU deal with the naysayers? Do you cut them out, do you let them win, or do you try and reason with them?