I am having quite a week with stupid, lazy parents; and oh no, I am not dealing with the parents directly it's what their stupid, lazy bratty kids do as a direct reflection of their stupid, lazy parenting.
Am I being harsh? I tend to think not. I am a realist; and most of the time what I think and say offends people, or they gasp in shock at the brash things I say. I am learning with age to be a tad more political but I have reached the end of my proverbial rope on this beautiful Sunday afternoon so oh effing well if you are offended.
So my ode to stupid, lazy parents begins with this....dear "Parent" and I use that term loosely, your child was over today and because you aren't responsible enough to raise your own child and I get to be one of the many stuckees with them for 24 hours while you work. A simple invite to spend the night has turned into a 24 hour expedition with your kid because no one can come pick your kid up until you get done with work. How fun for me! Now normally I don't mind having other children over - they entertain my kids and generally stay out of my hair. But oh no, not your kid. It started with the always wanting to one up my kid. That's a blast. I see that since you work all the time your guilt is reflected in the endless supply of "junk" and expensive toys, gadgets and other accessories that you buy your kid. Thank you. I appreciate explaining to my kids why they can't have an iPhone, XBox, Wii, PlayStation, iPod, and Coach purses at 10.
It got even more fun when I took the kids out to eat and your kid refused to order from the kids menu and bought a $27.99 steak off the regular menu because "kid size portions don't fill me up". Then proceeded to ask why I won't let the waitress bring bread, let my kids have soda or eat french fries. The best part is when your kid tried to explain to me that the bread they serve at Long Horn is good for you because it is brown. That was my favorite part.
Now see I have a tendency to be an asshole. I can go into what my husband likes to call "dick-mode" in about half a second. Now because this is a kid I try to be patient, which I will be honest I recognize that is not a strong suit of mine. And I remind your kid that we don't eat grains and that it is crucial for Rachel not to eat grains because of her Celiac. Now this is after our trip to Lowes and the Girl Scouts were selling cookies outside the door and your kid insisted on having Tagalongs and Mint Thins. Then proceeded to eat them in front of my kids and orgasm all over the damn cookies at how greeaaattt they tasted. Again we had to discuss how Rachel has Celiac and cannot have even "a bite" of these cookies.
I was so glad that your kid couldn't retain anything other than being self-absorbed with their own needs and wants that my child wilted minute after minute of watching yours indulge in their every whim, need and want of sugar, flour, salt all while boasting at the mouth about how rich they are and how much stuff they have and can buy.
Hmmmm...what else was fun! Oh that's right when my kids asked if we could go to the craft store and my response was no - I'm not partial to buying junk just to buy junk and they had no real need to go and purchase anything from the craft store - your kid tells my kids that "my mom will just take me when she picks me up." That was a nice touch.
At this point you can be thankful that it's a warm day out because I have banished your kid outside until you get here and oh look at the time, we still have over an hour to go.
Earlier this week I had the pleasure of dealing with another stupid and lazy kid. This kid decided to tell my kid that I was going to hell because I am an aetheist. I have my own beliefs and my husband has his, we have provided our children with all the knowledge and foundation of religion and have left it up to them to decide. I do not condemn or look down at anyone regardless of what religion they have chosen. My specific beliefs are MINE. I have never ever tried to "convert" someone to aetheism and I have quite a few friends that have very strong beliefs in a god. Now the reason I am so pissed that your child is judging me is you let your 16 year old son raise your two kids and when he wants to go to a friends house or heaven forbid has to go to school himself you call me to help you out. But don't worry! Next time you call for a favor I will be sure to let you know I don't think it's a good idea for your kids to come and hang out with someone who is going to hell, as you have so judgementally told your kids. I must say that it is pretty bold of you to judge me; last time I read the Bible and did religious studies you weren't supposed to judge others; that was for your god to do. But it has been several years so the rules might have changed.
Whew, you must feel pretty lucky that your kids didn't come home spouting praise Judas after all the school dances, roller skating, ice skating and trips to the pool this past summer. You must have really had to out weigh the exposure to me to go and do these fun things vice your kids sitting in the house with their brother while you both worked from 9-9. It's good to see you are rubbing your ignorance off onto your kids and that it will live on for generations to come. Whew, I am so releived!
I will end this rant on a positive note. My daughters have some really great friends with great parents (the whole direct reflection thing). And I am very appreciative that they have come into our lives. The funny thing about these parents is they hold the same values that Ray and I do. A parent is always home to take care of the kids, the kids aren't over indulged, they know how to "play" outside, their kids have manners, they aren't afraid to discipline their kids and the list goes on. It's actually hard to sum up a good parent and all the things they do right. It was actually quite easy to sum up the stupid, lazy parents.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
My family and I went to Orlando last week. This was in the midst of our second week doing the Paleo Challenge. Wow - what a challenge! It is very expensive to eat out Paleo. However, I have not seen a change in my grocery bill eating Paleo. I could see if you have one family member eating Paleo and the rest eating the normal Western fair it would be expensive. But my entire family has gone Paleo and I spend the same amount on groceries. I do have to make more trips to the grocery store during the week.
While I was in Orlando I wasn't able to workout. I am a gym junkie and normally when I can't workout my mind starts to implode. But I was OK. And I know it was because of my diet. I didn't feel like a fat slob and need that gym thrashing to release all the bad calories I consumed in my "treats". It was a good feeling. But when we came home I was nervous about working out. It was weird. I never am like that. But I was having anxiety about working out. Afraid I was going to fail. I can't even logically put it into words. I told my husband and he gave me the best advice. He said the worst workout is the one you skip.
I also read this blog today: http://whole9life.com/2011/02/its-just-exercise-part-i. And it really hit home and I had a fantastic workout today. I was strong and I pushed out all the doubts of failing. I was even OK when I decided I'd had enough - I didn't beat myself up and say I should've done this or that or gone longer. I was content. It's a good feeling.
Not on the Paleo challenge I would eat a lot of snacks. My favorite saying was "I'm snackie" and I'd have humus with blue corn chips, or peanut butter on something. Or greek yogurt. Since I started the Paleo challenge and none of these items are food choices any more I am forced to assess my hunger. And I realize I'm not really hungry now like I used to be. I think the "junk" I was snacking on even though it's way better than what most people eat for snacks was making me more hungry than I needed to be.
I also have noticed that I don't get that light-headed queasy feeling when it's been awhile since I've eaten. Before if I hadn't eaten in awhile I'd start to feel sick. Like I was going to pass out if I didn't eat. Now don't get me wrong, when I haven't eaten for awhile on Paleo I get hungry, really hungry. So hungry I don't want to talk. Not because I am going to pass out, but because my brain has gone primal and I am looking for something acceptable to eat. I think the queasy light-headed, I'm going to pass out feeling is a blood sugar roller coaster. Which I would have swore before the foods I was eating were clean and didn't have that big of an impact on my glycemic index. Hmmmm....I was wrong.
I'm enjoying Paleo. And I really enjoy sharing the lifestyle with other people. So I am kind of that aggrivating person. You know the one, you duck when you see them coming, pretend like you are on the phone, let the phone go to voicemail or ignore them and their comments on face book - which is OK, I'm used to not being a fan favorite....like I said before I am a diet snob. Most people won't eat in front of me. But honestly - I just want everyone to be healthy and educate. Sometimes you have to be aggressive about it =)
While I was in Orlando I wasn't able to workout. I am a gym junkie and normally when I can't workout my mind starts to implode. But I was OK. And I know it was because of my diet. I didn't feel like a fat slob and need that gym thrashing to release all the bad calories I consumed in my "treats". It was a good feeling. But when we came home I was nervous about working out. It was weird. I never am like that. But I was having anxiety about working out. Afraid I was going to fail. I can't even logically put it into words. I told my husband and he gave me the best advice. He said the worst workout is the one you skip.
I also read this blog today: http://whole9life.com/2011/02/its-just-exercise-part-i. And it really hit home and I had a fantastic workout today. I was strong and I pushed out all the doubts of failing. I was even OK when I decided I'd had enough - I didn't beat myself up and say I should've done this or that or gone longer. I was content. It's a good feeling.
Not on the Paleo challenge I would eat a lot of snacks. My favorite saying was "I'm snackie" and I'd have humus with blue corn chips, or peanut butter on something. Or greek yogurt. Since I started the Paleo challenge and none of these items are food choices any more I am forced to assess my hunger. And I realize I'm not really hungry now like I used to be. I think the "junk" I was snacking on even though it's way better than what most people eat for snacks was making me more hungry than I needed to be.
I also have noticed that I don't get that light-headed queasy feeling when it's been awhile since I've eaten. Before if I hadn't eaten in awhile I'd start to feel sick. Like I was going to pass out if I didn't eat. Now don't get me wrong, when I haven't eaten for awhile on Paleo I get hungry, really hungry. So hungry I don't want to talk. Not because I am going to pass out, but because my brain has gone primal and I am looking for something acceptable to eat. I think the queasy light-headed, I'm going to pass out feeling is a blood sugar roller coaster. Which I would have swore before the foods I was eating were clean and didn't have that big of an impact on my glycemic index. Hmmmm....I was wrong.
I'm enjoying Paleo. And I really enjoy sharing the lifestyle with other people. So I am kind of that aggrivating person. You know the one, you duck when you see them coming, pretend like you are on the phone, let the phone go to voicemail or ignore them and their comments on face book - which is OK, I'm used to not being a fan favorite....like I said before I am a diet snob. Most people won't eat in front of me. But honestly - I just want everyone to be healthy and educate. Sometimes you have to be aggressive about it =)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
I'm a diet snob.
Okay, okay, I admit it. I'm a diet snob. I'm not as bad as I used to be, before I was a diet snob and a fitness snob. But I've gotten over the fitness part. Maybe because I am not 100 percent sure what the best way to work out is, if you are moving your body than you are burning calories (even if you are doing the shake weight). And I am getting older now (a whopping 32!) to recognize that a lot of different body types are attractive in thier own way. But most of my family and friends still feel like they should eat in a closet when I am around.
I've maintained my diet snobbery. I've actually, thanks to Paleo, fine tuned it. When I go anywhere and I emphasize anywhere (work, the mall, my recent trip to Orlando) I see people of all ages and all sizes snacking and treating themselves to poison. And honestly I don't think these people are purposely saying to themself...wow this poison tastes amazing! The t.v. advertises that frosted flakes are full of whole grains that are g-r-r-r-eat for you. Another commercial will tell you that high fructose corn syrup is no different than table sugar (uhhhhh, since when was table sugar good for you? EVEN IN MODERATION?)
My recent work trip to Orlando sent me on a quest for Paleo bites. Everything was sauted or doused in some sort of sauce, gravy or butter. It's almost like no one wants you to eat healthy....hmmmm, is there a conspiracy theory regarding the pharmaceutical, grocery stores and the government? dun-dun-duh....I mean they are all multi-billion dollar organizations. What if we all got healthy?
Ok, sorry, enough going all Mel Gibson on you. I have a hard time watching or reading fiction - so I've really turned to the Discovery and Travel Channel for television. I was watching an episode of The Real ER or something to that effect - a young couple, probably 20 or 21, brought their 2-year old son into the ER for extreme pain in his legs. He wouldn't stand because the pain was that bad. After a thorough exam and blood work he was diagnosed with scurvy...I am not kidding! His parents were giving him nothing but oatmeal....but they claimed to occassionally add some sugar to it for him (how considerate of them). He was nutritionally devoid of Vitamin C. What are we Pirates? This IS the 21st Century and our young parents don't know that you HAVE to feed your kids what they NEED not what they want. And worse they don't know WHAT to feed their kids.
Mrs. Obama if you would like to "cure" childhood obesity than start spreading the Paleo word. Protein is not chicken nuggets or hot dogs. Fruit is not fruit snacks or fruit roll-ups. Veggies are is not iceberg lettuce drowned in ranch dressing or potato chips. Snacks are not sugary yogart (or yogart at all for that fact), granola bars or 100 calories snacks of cheez-its or chips ahoy. Physical fitness is not found in the Wii....I'm not joking and you know I'm not!
Parents if you didn't want to raise your kids and you just wanted a few friends you should have joined the YMCA or Facebook not reproduced. Parenting is not for the weak of heart or lazy. Your kids won't like you all the time...it happens. But no one likes to hang out with a bratty kid OR worse a fat bratty kid. If you always teach your kid to take the easy route or to never step out of their comfort zone then they won't. And the only person to blame is yoursel. Lazy parenting produced lazy kids.
So next time your kid is screaming because they don't want to eat what is nutritious and will feed their bodies, not just their bratty soul, take a stand and make them eat the asparagus. Cause when I see fat kids, just like when I see thier fat parents, I am totally a snob about it.
I've maintained my diet snobbery. I've actually, thanks to Paleo, fine tuned it. When I go anywhere and I emphasize anywhere (work, the mall, my recent trip to Orlando) I see people of all ages and all sizes snacking and treating themselves to poison. And honestly I don't think these people are purposely saying to themself...wow this poison tastes amazing! The t.v. advertises that frosted flakes are full of whole grains that are g-r-r-r-eat for you. Another commercial will tell you that high fructose corn syrup is no different than table sugar (uhhhhh, since when was table sugar good for you? EVEN IN MODERATION?)
My recent work trip to Orlando sent me on a quest for Paleo bites. Everything was sauted or doused in some sort of sauce, gravy or butter. It's almost like no one wants you to eat healthy....hmmmm, is there a conspiracy theory regarding the pharmaceutical, grocery stores and the government? dun-dun-duh....I mean they are all multi-billion dollar organizations. What if we all got healthy?
Ok, sorry, enough going all Mel Gibson on you. I have a hard time watching or reading fiction - so I've really turned to the Discovery and Travel Channel for television. I was watching an episode of The Real ER or something to that effect - a young couple, probably 20 or 21, brought their 2-year old son into the ER for extreme pain in his legs. He wouldn't stand because the pain was that bad. After a thorough exam and blood work he was diagnosed with scurvy...I am not kidding! His parents were giving him nothing but oatmeal....but they claimed to occassionally add some sugar to it for him (how considerate of them). He was nutritionally devoid of Vitamin C. What are we Pirates? This IS the 21st Century and our young parents don't know that you HAVE to feed your kids what they NEED not what they want. And worse they don't know WHAT to feed their kids.
Mrs. Obama if you would like to "cure" childhood obesity than start spreading the Paleo word. Protein is not chicken nuggets or hot dogs. Fruit is not fruit snacks or fruit roll-ups. Veggies are is not iceberg lettuce drowned in ranch dressing or potato chips. Snacks are not sugary yogart (or yogart at all for that fact), granola bars or 100 calories snacks of cheez-its or chips ahoy. Physical fitness is not found in the Wii....I'm not joking and you know I'm not!
Parents if you didn't want to raise your kids and you just wanted a few friends you should have joined the YMCA or Facebook not reproduced. Parenting is not for the weak of heart or lazy. Your kids won't like you all the time...it happens. But no one likes to hang out with a bratty kid OR worse a fat bratty kid. If you always teach your kid to take the easy route or to never step out of their comfort zone then they won't. And the only person to blame is yoursel. Lazy parenting produced lazy kids.
So next time your kid is screaming because they don't want to eat what is nutritious and will feed their bodies, not just their bratty soul, take a stand and make them eat the asparagus. Cause when I see fat kids, just like when I see thier fat parents, I am totally a snob about it.
I like how I look naked!
I am not being vain here, being vain would be saying "hey look at me naked!" and that wouldn't be a good idea seeming how my husband hits like a mac truck (just ask Chris). What I am saying is this Paleo diet is really working for me. When I pass the mirror on the way to the shower I'm not making a mad dash so I only get a glimpse. I'm actually stopping to admire!
I've always been on the leaner side - when I was a kid I grew up with my mom always saying don't eat that, it'll make you fat. Now her nutrition guidance was very misleading as our standard diet was a can of coke and a snickers. But when you only consume 370 calories a day it doesn't matter they are only coming from sugar. But I was a small kid, then I started running and exercising by 11. I lifted weights seriously at 15. I then did figure competitions. And I even did the I almost divorced my spouse diet - which sheds an amazing 22#s!!
But as I crossed 30 (I am now 32) my usual body fat of 16% crept up to 17 and then 18 and then 19 and I think I was even at 20% for a few months. It had nothing to do with crossing 30 and everything to do with my lax diet. I drank way too much beer (and I blame it all on Aimee) and I let myself have french fries and chocolate once a day and even sodas. I would just say I'll work out harder when I hit the gym.
And I was working out hard. Super hard. Way harder than I work out now! And I still couldn't shed that body fat. I had moved from a bikini to surf shorts. My explanation was I was too old and a mom to wear a bikini. Truth was I just didn't like how my gut or hamstrings looked anymore.
But this summer I'm rockin' a bikini again. And I'm going to get some outrageous loud color too - cause even if I don't say hey look at me I'm naked....you bet your ass I'll be saying hey look at me in this bikini - I look HAWT and I know it!
I've always been on the leaner side - when I was a kid I grew up with my mom always saying don't eat that, it'll make you fat. Now her nutrition guidance was very misleading as our standard diet was a can of coke and a snickers. But when you only consume 370 calories a day it doesn't matter they are only coming from sugar. But I was a small kid, then I started running and exercising by 11. I lifted weights seriously at 15. I then did figure competitions. And I even did the I almost divorced my spouse diet - which sheds an amazing 22#s!!
But as I crossed 30 (I am now 32) my usual body fat of 16% crept up to 17 and then 18 and then 19 and I think I was even at 20% for a few months. It had nothing to do with crossing 30 and everything to do with my lax diet. I drank way too much beer (and I blame it all on Aimee) and I let myself have french fries and chocolate once a day and even sodas. I would just say I'll work out harder when I hit the gym.
And I was working out hard. Super hard. Way harder than I work out now! And I still couldn't shed that body fat. I had moved from a bikini to surf shorts. My explanation was I was too old and a mom to wear a bikini. Truth was I just didn't like how my gut or hamstrings looked anymore.
But this summer I'm rockin' a bikini again. And I'm going to get some outrageous loud color too - cause even if I don't say hey look at me I'm naked....you bet your ass I'll be saying hey look at me in this bikini - I look HAWT and I know it!
Rachel's gone Paleo
I’ve got great kids. And I’m not going to brag but they didn’t fall off the tree like that. Ray and I are strict parents. And we are proud of being strict too. I don’t think we are unfair about it, there are a lot of things we explain to them why we are doing but most are just “because I said so” kind of things.
Like Ray can’t stand the girls wearing shorts. The Bermuda type is OK, but nothing that shows the knee. I think this is a little extreme. I’m not saying booty shorts but if they pass the “straight arm finger test” they are probably acceptable. My sister Abbey tried to give Sydney some old shorts of hers. I could tell immediately they were clearly not going to pass the “Ray test”. I was just trying to be nice and take the hand me downs because I get super offended when I offer hand me downs and someone acts snobby about it. But Ray was adamant (and verbal) about not taking these shorts and to this day my Aunt Susan is frightened to buy the girls shorts!
When we go to a restaurant or to a store the girls always want “treats” whether it is the standard bargain of I’ll get a grilled chicken sandwich if you let me get fries (and they eat all the fries and have no room for the sandwich); or can we get candy, please, please? I always gave in; always. I mean I’VE GOT GREAT KIDS don’t they deserve a little treat for being so great?
Turns out no, they don’t. And our new found Paleo family has been a hard mommy challenge for me. Last night we ate at Planet Hollywood, Orlando. Rachel and I shared a steak and mixed veggies. Rachel ate the steak willingly. She loves steak. (Eating cow is a new thing for us) but the veggies…meh, not so much. She was given two spears of broccoli and she just wouldn’t finish them. Ray, Sydney and I had been finished eating for awhile and were anxious to walk around and look at the memorabilia. Rachel finally got one spear down and oh how pitiful this child can look when she wants, and the excuses! It tastes funny; it touched the table; Sydney is looking at me (we were all staring her down at this point); I just don’t like broccoli. I was about to give in. But Ray has much better resolve than I do and he tells her to take the second one with her. And she carried that spear around for at least 30 minutes before she got it down her gullet. She probably ate H1N1 exposing it to half of Orlando.
But it is worth it – I have to tell you, she has more energy now and she doesn’t “look sick” now this is something only my mommy meter could sense with her but I could tell for the last five months something was off with Rachel (she was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in December). And even though she is grumpy about eating broccoli,my mommy meter is quiet and that is something she is just going to have to SUCK UP!
Like Ray can’t stand the girls wearing shorts. The Bermuda type is OK, but nothing that shows the knee. I think this is a little extreme. I’m not saying booty shorts but if they pass the “straight arm finger test” they are probably acceptable. My sister Abbey tried to give Sydney some old shorts of hers. I could tell immediately they were clearly not going to pass the “Ray test”. I was just trying to be nice and take the hand me downs because I get super offended when I offer hand me downs and someone acts snobby about it. But Ray was adamant (and verbal) about not taking these shorts and to this day my Aunt Susan is frightened to buy the girls shorts!
When we go to a restaurant or to a store the girls always want “treats” whether it is the standard bargain of I’ll get a grilled chicken sandwich if you let me get fries (and they eat all the fries and have no room for the sandwich); or can we get candy, please, please? I always gave in; always. I mean I’VE GOT GREAT KIDS don’t they deserve a little treat for being so great?
Turns out no, they don’t. And our new found Paleo family has been a hard mommy challenge for me. Last night we ate at Planet Hollywood, Orlando. Rachel and I shared a steak and mixed veggies. Rachel ate the steak willingly. She loves steak. (Eating cow is a new thing for us) but the veggies…meh, not so much. She was given two spears of broccoli and she just wouldn’t finish them. Ray, Sydney and I had been finished eating for awhile and were anxious to walk around and look at the memorabilia. Rachel finally got one spear down and oh how pitiful this child can look when she wants, and the excuses! It tastes funny; it touched the table; Sydney is looking at me (we were all staring her down at this point); I just don’t like broccoli. I was about to give in. But Ray has much better resolve than I do and he tells her to take the second one with her. And she carried that spear around for at least 30 minutes before she got it down her gullet. She probably ate H1N1 exposing it to half of Orlando.
But it is worth it – I have to tell you, she has more energy now and she doesn’t “look sick” now this is something only my mommy meter could sense with her but I could tell for the last five months something was off with Rachel (she was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in December). And even though she is grumpy about eating broccoli,my mommy meter is quiet and that is something she is just going to have to SUCK UP!
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