I am having quite a week with stupid, lazy parents; and oh no, I am not dealing with the parents directly it's what their stupid, lazy bratty kids do as a direct reflection of their stupid, lazy parenting.
Am I being harsh? I tend to think not. I am a realist; and most of the time what I think and say offends people, or they gasp in shock at the brash things I say. I am learning with age to be a tad more political but I have reached the end of my proverbial rope on this beautiful Sunday afternoon so oh effing well if you are offended.
So my ode to stupid, lazy parents begins with this....dear "Parent" and I use that term loosely, your child was over today and because you aren't responsible enough to raise your own child and I get to be one of the many stuckees with them for 24 hours while you work. A simple invite to spend the night has turned into a 24 hour expedition with your kid because no one can come pick your kid up until you get done with work. How fun for me! Now normally I don't mind having other children over - they entertain my kids and generally stay out of my hair. But oh no, not your kid. It started with the always wanting to one up my kid. That's a blast. I see that since you work all the time your guilt is reflected in the endless supply of "junk" and expensive toys, gadgets and other accessories that you buy your kid. Thank you. I appreciate explaining to my kids why they can't have an iPhone, XBox, Wii, PlayStation, iPod, and Coach purses at 10.
It got even more fun when I took the kids out to eat and your kid refused to order from the kids menu and bought a $27.99 steak off the regular menu because "kid size portions don't fill me up". Then proceeded to ask why I won't let the waitress bring bread, let my kids have soda or eat french fries. The best part is when your kid tried to explain to me that the bread they serve at Long Horn is good for you because it is brown. That was my favorite part.
Now see I have a tendency to be an asshole. I can go into what my husband likes to call "dick-mode" in about half a second. Now because this is a kid I try to be patient, which I will be honest I recognize that is not a strong suit of mine. And I remind your kid that we don't eat grains and that it is crucial for Rachel not to eat grains because of her Celiac. Now this is after our trip to Lowes and the Girl Scouts were selling cookies outside the door and your kid insisted on having Tagalongs and Mint Thins. Then proceeded to eat them in front of my kids and orgasm all over the damn cookies at how greeaaattt they tasted. Again we had to discuss how Rachel has Celiac and cannot have even "a bite" of these cookies.
I was so glad that your kid couldn't retain anything other than being self-absorbed with their own needs and wants that my child wilted minute after minute of watching yours indulge in their every whim, need and want of sugar, flour, salt all while boasting at the mouth about how rich they are and how much stuff they have and can buy.
Hmmmm...what else was fun! Oh that's right when my kids asked if we could go to the craft store and my response was no - I'm not partial to buying junk just to buy junk and they had no real need to go and purchase anything from the craft store - your kid tells my kids that "my mom will just take me when she picks me up." That was a nice touch.
At this point you can be thankful that it's a warm day out because I have banished your kid outside until you get here and oh look at the time, we still have over an hour to go.
Earlier this week I had the pleasure of dealing with another stupid and lazy kid. This kid decided to tell my kid that I was going to hell because I am an aetheist. I have my own beliefs and my husband has his, we have provided our children with all the knowledge and foundation of religion and have left it up to them to decide. I do not condemn or look down at anyone regardless of what religion they have chosen. My specific beliefs are MINE. I have never ever tried to "convert" someone to aetheism and I have quite a few friends that have very strong beliefs in a god. Now the reason I am so pissed that your child is judging me is you let your 16 year old son raise your two kids and when he wants to go to a friends house or heaven forbid has to go to school himself you call me to help you out. But don't worry! Next time you call for a favor I will be sure to let you know I don't think it's a good idea for your kids to come and hang out with someone who is going to hell, as you have so judgementally told your kids. I must say that it is pretty bold of you to judge me; last time I read the Bible and did religious studies you weren't supposed to judge others; that was for your god to do. But it has been several years so the rules might have changed.
Whew, you must feel pretty lucky that your kids didn't come home spouting praise Judas after all the school dances, roller skating, ice skating and trips to the pool this past summer. You must have really had to out weigh the exposure to me to go and do these fun things vice your kids sitting in the house with their brother while you both worked from 9-9. It's good to see you are rubbing your ignorance off onto your kids and that it will live on for generations to come. Whew, I am so releived!
I will end this rant on a positive note. My daughters have some really great friends with great parents (the whole direct reflection thing). And I am very appreciative that they have come into our lives. The funny thing about these parents is they hold the same values that Ray and I do. A parent is always home to take care of the kids, the kids aren't over indulged, they know how to "play" outside, their kids have manners, they aren't afraid to discipline their kids and the list goes on. It's actually hard to sum up a good parent and all the things they do right. It was actually quite easy to sum up the stupid, lazy parents.
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