It turns out my way may not actually be the best way…..WHAT!!! I know this is very shocking. I’m still a little floored over this revelation.
There are two ways to show strength: Pulling Up or Pushing Down.
The funny thing is I have this saying written on my gym wall; turns out I didn’t know what the eff it actually meant until this past weekend. I was in denial on my own ability to carry out Pulling Up.
I went with my sister to an abbreviated version of Senior Week this past weekend; she just graduated high school. Like most high school graduates she is off to college and has no idea of “what she wants to be when she grows up”. I made the standard joke well I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, ha ha ha ha. She gave me her version of “the polite smile” and started to turn her attention elsewhere. I saw my window of opportunity closing. The way it closed when I suggested she join the military; close when I suggested she come and live with me and go to college; as that window started to close I realized I wasn’t to get many more chances to give her solid advice before she started viewing me as just another nagging adult.
So I took a different approach and I started asking her questions. AND I LISTENED. I resisted the urge to give her advice…seeming how I know everything this was really hard. I began an interaction that gave her the physical and mental state to think on her own, I asked questions that put her thoughts into simple thoughts and let her make positive decisions on her own.
She’s at that age and cross roads where she wants to make her own decisions but is afraid. She wants someone to tell her what to do but wants to make her own mind on up. She’s got the whole world at her feet and just as it should be….it’s overwhelming.
The truth of the matter is if she doesn’t like the college she chose she can transfer – this seems like such a waste and such a big inconvenience when you are young but as you get older you realize it’s all about making those decisions and not just doing what is easiest. We talked about how she doesn’t have to decide exactly what she wants to be until she had the two years of general education requirements and she’d be two whole years wiser ;-). We talked about job shadowing, and we talked about what she feels passionate about. Because natural talent DOES matter – you may not get rich but you’ll sure as hell be happy and that is way more important.
We had a discussion where she listened to me and I said very little. I Pulled her Up by listening to her and getting her to talk vice Pushing her Down with my advice and talk.
If you live a Paleo lifestyle you probably get asked on a regular basis about your food choices. It’s hard in a five minute conversation to tell a person all about lectin, glucose levels and leaky gut syndrome. It’s simple to say it’s like Atkins and then abruptly end the conversation because their criticism of your “fad diet” pisses you off.
A true show of strength is to let no one come to you without leaving better or happier.
Denial is convincing yourself it can wait until another day, or that you’ll start living a healthier lifestyle after one more “cheat” meal or skipping another chance to exercise. Denial is telling yourself you really aren’t “that” overweight.
If you don’t know anyone that can Pull you Up then you have to take the initiative to Pull yourself Up. You look in the mirror and you say this isn’t about what I don’t have but what I do have and getting started. Doing the best you can in that very moment so you set yourself up for success in the next – because the breath you are taking right now is the only one you know you have for sure.
Next time someone asks you about the Paleo lifestyle explain that eating this way reduces inflammation – and btw inflammation should be feared as the “new cholesterol”. Inform them that eating Paleo allows the body to shed excess body fat and have more energy and mental focus. If they still seem interested explain how their food pyramid will look: meats, veggies, eggs and nuts with some fruit. If they are still hanging in there suggest Robb Wolf’s book “The Paleo Diet Solution” or Art DeVany’s “The Evolution Diet” or one of the many great blogs out there…ehh-emmm…MINE! And then check in with them periodically to see how they are doing. They may have taken your advice and they may have chucked it to the way side. Forgive them and keep an open mind….and remember if everyone ate Paleo our economy would probably crash….at least you can Pull yourself Up ;-)
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