Media Misinformed

I hate media. I hate television shows, game shows, reality shows, the news, magazines and about 97 percent of fiction books.

Last night my husband and I were lounging on the couch; he had drifted off to nap land and I was attempting to meet him there but ESPN’s constant newsfeed bitch…..errr…I mean debate in the background, on whether Tim Tebow is a good quarterback (ESPN is really just the View for men) was like a mosquito in my ear, so I changed the channel to the local news and low and behold Wendy Reiger and Jim Handly are telling me how counting calories is a tried and true method to fight obesity….no shit these were their words. They don’t look like pinnacles of fitness or nutrition but who knows they could rip off their suits and be macho ripped….doubt it, but whatever. Anyways then they pan to an expert nutritionist, Elisa Zeid, I personally have never heard of her so I did a Google search and she has a blog and a book and she is a proclaimed EXPERT. I’d really like to know what clarifies you as an expert so I never get tarnished with this godawful title.

So Elisa is telling us how in NYC it is mandated that restaurants have posted the calories next to their food items on the menu. Because of this great accomplishment, NYC residents are choosing about 100 less calories per meal!!! She states this is a sure sight of things to change on the fight against obesity. Ohmafuckingod….she has to be kidding. Nope she sits there with her weirdo fake smile hoping I’ll eat her shit with a spoon and then buy her book.

Now let’s take a look at this 100 calorie saving phenomenon going on in NYC. A quick search tells me a double cheese burger, large fry (5.4 ounces) and 32 ounce coke has 1250 calories, 31 grams of protein and 183 grams of carbohydrates. So seeing that the single cheeseburger is 300 calories less – and don’t kid yourself into thinking someone will choose a smaller drink or smaller fry – on the other side the FDA is telling you low fat is the way to go - and always chooses the smaller portion of protein (red meat is evil according to the FDA). So that is 140 calories less – actually over Ms. Zeid’s estimate savings. 1110 calories versus 1250 – BUT you have only saved ONE GRAM OF CARBOHYDRATES AND LOST 10 GRAMS OF PROTEIN by reducing the burger size – and regardless that it is a fast food burger and mostly processed garbage it is better than the starch and liquid sugar that people keep in their diet because everyone knows red meat is evil and will give you a heart attack.

My next favorite is Tracy Anderson, I’ll give you all a break on my Dr. Oz bitches – TA is sweeping the media with her celebrity workouts – top stars use her like Gweneth Paltrow and a bunch of other people I could give two shits less about. We are in a serious detriment when are role models are people we have never met, don’t care to meet us, don’t give two shits about us and only want you to buy their movies, songs and sleeping bags with their face plastered on it so they can continue to live in their billion dollar houses and hirer bodyguards to keep you away from them. Anyways, TA tells us in her infomercial that the way to get “tone” without getting bulky is high reps with low weights. OK, well TA bulk comes from too much body fat, not muscle and a fantastic way to get this “tone” thing you keep spreading like a disease is to lift heavy ass weights. She tells me to “feel the burn” as she demonstrates 100 bicep curls with a 3# dumbbell.

Not to mention how creepy she looks – how much plastic surgery has this woman had anyways?

She must get free clothes from HSN as she demonstrates in every appearance these strange costume spandex pants. TA, I bench 135#s, squat 235#, RDL 225#, and clean 120#s (and I weigh 131#) – the only 100 reps of anything that I do is burpees and I am NOT bulky. I am muscular and lean and I am chasing after more muscle. And I will get it by lifting heavy ass weights, treating carbs like cyanide, eating RED MEAT (take your vegan shit somewhere else), bacon, and broccoli. You can take your weird tofu, blueberry & honey shake and your calorie counting and your 3# dumbbells and choke on the million dollars you are making.

Yes, I recognize you are making a million dollars – I am jealous and spiteful about it, so suck it – the only reason you are making so much damn money is because the general population and by general population I mean the fat, obese, morbidly obese and sick; eat your non-disciplined, laid back, everything in moderation approach to nutrition and fitness with a goddamn spoon. News flash – you can’t eat pussy with a spoon. And fat guys ain’t getting any and fat girls ain’t given any up. Too vulgar? Then stop reading – because this is exactly why my approach isn’t splashed across the media making me a few million. Everyone wants to hold hands and sing campfire songs for a “cure for obesity”; they don’t want to be smacked in the face with the reality and brute honesty that if you don’t want to be fat, obese, morbidly obese or sick anymore you have to turn off the damn news, infomercials and throw away your copy of Oxygen; throw away the tofu and supplement shakes, use the 3# dumbbells as book weights and grab a lettuce wrapped burger, topped with bacon and avocado and then get yourself a good coach or trainer whatever fucking “label” you want to give them and learn how to lift some heavy ass weight and transform your body into something that the opposite sex will give a shit about.

Nuf said – tired of being political about this – you want results that’s how you do it - the bitch is back!

Failing or Qutting?

Lately I have been hearing the word failure used frequently in a negative way. I’ve had people in my “real” job use it, “I don’t want to set the team up for failure.” And I’ve heard my clients use it, “I have failed to get into shape on my own.” This prompted me to attempt to give you a new look on failure, because I see failure as a pre-requisite for improvement. I tell my kids all the time there is a very important lesson to take away from failure….they usually give me a blank stare.

Now quitting is a word that I do view as negative. The sad part about quitting is some people don’t even know they’ve quit! The person who assumes they know everything has quit learning – in whatever aspect it maybe – diet, training, driving, writing, listening, parenting, being married, you get the point. People who are afraid to look bad have quit as well. You can’t practice if you are afraid of looking bad. Sometimes you are just going to look stupid – everyone looks awkward attempting a clean and press for the first time. Everyone looks dumfound in the grocery store shopping Paleo the first time.

You cannot make excuses for your failures; you must adjust and correct yourself (and your kids!). Once you get it right –that’s the beginning – not the end.

If you have children and I do mean plural – there is a high probability that the baby is better at things than their older sibling(s). They probably spoke later than their older siblings, maybe walked later, maybe potty trained later; but I bet when they started talking they spoke more clearly and had a better vocabulary then their older sibling(s). When they started walking they were more coordinated and when they finally potty trained they had fewer accidents. Mozart and Michael Jackson were the babies. Do you know why the baby is always so much “better” than their older counterparts? Because they are able to watch and learn from their siblings, they absorb all of their sibling’s movements, speech, and technique to getting things done.

A perfect example of this was when my daughter did softball for a year. There was a little girl on the team who was the youngest and the smallest of all the girls, I can’t even remember what her real name is; we all called her Mighty Mouse. She would get up to the plate and crack that ball right out of the park. If she was in the field she would run, grab that ball and throw it with precision to the base. She was so damn good at softball at seven-years old because her older brother, who was 13, had been playing since he was six years old. Mighty Mouse had not only the opportunity to watch for seven years on the sidelines, but her brother tirelessly played catch and taught her to swing a bat.

I’ll touch quickly on myelin – I won’t bore you too much with the science behind it – if it interests you I suggest you grab a copy of “The Talent Code: Greatness isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How.” By Daniel Coyle. And he can give you the nitty-gritty details. I’ll give you the Cliff Notes. Myelin is the insulation that wraps the nerve fibers in your brain. The amount of myelin you have determines the signal strength, speed and accuracy of how the electricity travels and fires off synapses in the brain – or in plain speak myelin helps your brain puppet you to do things faster. How do you build more myelin? Hours and hours and hours and hours of practice.

Natural born talent is overrated. Hard work, failure and correction, hours of practice, a good coach, dedication, a diet high in Essential Fatty Acids (EFA) and passion are the traits to talent.

Myelin increases the speed at which impulses propagate, the more times the electrical impulse goes through a pattern the quicker it goes through that same pattern the next time your brain tells it to. Neurons are cells strictly dedicated to brain communication and human behavior and our mood is determined by the neuron activity (or lack of activity).

The myelin protective sheath is made up of 70% fat. Neuron membranes are also mostly double fatty acid molecules. Essential Fatty Acids (EFA) which come from avocados, nuts, olive oil and fish (Omega 3 & 9) transport lipids. Most American’s diets are high in Omega-6; about ten times too high. Diets high in Omega-6 can lead to impaired motor skills, and learning ability; depression; Multiple Sclerosis and Alzheimer’s Disease to name a few.

Plain and simple – if you want to be smarter, better skilled and have a healthy body you need to eat more Omega 3 and 9 foods and easy does it on the Omega-6 .

To get better you have to practice better. Practice your diet better. Practice your training better. What kind of practice?

Precision practice: paying keen attention to errors -when you get it right – now you begin

The three M’s:
Mimic – be like Mighty Mouse, watch and mimic someone that is really good at what you are striving to do.
Measure – don’t be afraid to look bad – compare yourself to the experts. Note your failures and improve and them. Don’t quit!
Motivation – Be inspired by others success not intimidated.

Get feedback: a coach that cares about your success more than you do, that will provide guidance, discipline and commitment to you.

Passion: listen to your “Primal Cues” – if you hate running; then maybe you should try something you like. Just a thought.

Having talent is hard work, it’s long hours of practice, being wrong more times than right, changing direction when you hit a ceiling and never quitting. But the good news is you have your whole life to get it right….so you better get busy!

Fat Hunter is now Hawt Hunter

Folks, we suck at educating our population on proper nutrition. Plain and simple. I am awestruck at the misinformation that is out there; and the more people I work with on their diets the more I realize how misinformed the public is. I’ve been perusing through quite a few articles this morning ranging from restaurants adapting the “Kids Live Well Campaign” to parents being charged and the child being put into protective services for having an obese child.
The articles range from facts to fiction, but the craziest part is reader’s comments. Wow, people totally miss the point. One reader’s comments:

JOSH says….Too bad that Perkin's isn't on the list. I can stand in my local Perkin's parking lot, and see their three competitors, Carrabba’s, Friendly's, and Burger King, and ALL of them signed up. And while not in sight, just over the hill is yet another competitor, Outback, and they signed up too. Come on Perkins, get with it !

That is a travesty, Josh…damn you Perkins. Effin idiot….Perkins is NOT the problem. And Outback, Cracker Barrel, Chilis, Burger King, iHop and Bone Fish Grill to name a few that have adopted a 600 calorie option on the kids menu that is 2 servings of fruit, a “healthy” whole grain and lean protein is not the solution.

Call me crazy but I think it is a tad outrageous that the government that publishes and pushes the MyPlate or Food Pyramid (take your pick their both shit) which is a diet low in fat and high in carbohydrates AND CARBOHYDRATES MAKE YOU FAT can then fine the parents and further traumatize the child by putting them in foster homes for being fat. Like being fat isn’t traumatizing enough for a kid. Are you rucking kidding me? Maybe our government promotes this diet to keep us docile and submissive? Easier for brainwashing?

However I am not an idiot and I know that it will be near impossible for the courts to prove obesity is child abuse. Starve a kid and it still takes months to prove the behavior will cause permanent harm. I think obesity is pretty easy to prove permanent harm….ever heard of Type II diabetes? That’s pretty rucking permanent (I really like that word! Ruck, Ruck, Ruck, Ruck, RUCK!) and harmful. But I digress.

The more people I work with on their diet the more I am aware that not everyone loves biochemistry and the science of food like I do. This is super shocking, I know, I mean who doesn’t care about food on a molecular and cellular level? Apparently most of the population. Most of my clients just want me to tell them what to eat – they glaze over a bit when I start talking hormones and lectin.

Let’s take a look at what defines a cult and some of the conversion tactics. Jargon that only insiders understand. No humor. Uncertainty and verbal public attacks. Persuation and manipulation tactics.

I’ve heard Paleo referred to as a cult and, I myself, joke about this. So let’s take a look at this theory compared to the top four conversion tactics:

Jargon: ummm, yeah, I guess the term Paleo is an “inside term”….maybe I should just say Carb Free. So I qualify for conversion topic (CT) #1.

I think my posts are funny….so I have humor. Negative on CT #2

Uncertainty and verbal attacks. But this is SO fun! It’s where the humor comes from. Check on CT #3

Persuasion and manipulation tactics: errrr, I guess I qualify for this one too, with all my stories, pictures and fancy charts.

Most outsiders consider Crossfit a cult too. Crossfit (or similar training routines) and Paleo go hand in hand and the funny part about this is most Crossfit coaches – and I am not a Crossfit coach but this includes me – don’t give a shit about converting people to Paleo (or Crossfit). If you seek out Paleo I’ll give you the info; but I don’t give a rat’s ass, unless you are a client and paying me for results, if you stick with it.

Parents are included in this clueless population on nutrition - acutally MY parent is included in this general misguided group

My baby brother, Hunter, who isn’t really a baby anymore – he’s about 6” taller than me and can squat me and three of my closest friends – used to be obese. He was obese because of my mom’s lack of knowledge on food. I grew up on Mountain Dew and Snickers – she really…just…doesn’t…know. Soda is a staple in my mom’s house. There are cases and a variety to choose from in the garage. The freezer has peanut butter cups, ice cream, personal frozen pizzas, hot pockets, biscuit egg sandwiches and pancakes, there are tandy cakes in the bread drawer and Italian Bread and six different cereals in the cupboard. And my mom will look you in the eye and tell you “I don’t buy junk food”.

So Hunter got really fat, so fat that he couldn’t pass the physical for football at school. His blood pressure was too high. I think he was about 11 at the time. He’ll have to correct me if I am wrong. He had to go see a physician because of the high blood pressure. The physician told him he was so fat he couldn’t see his own penis. This was brute honest. This crushed my brother. It also pissed my mom off to high hell. But my mom be damned that doctor changed Hunter’s life. Hunter stopped drinking soda and eating a bunch of carbohydrates. He also started running and lifting weights with P90x. Hunter is now what the ladies call a “hawty” and back on the football team and a great asset to the team. I am extremely proud of him for taking control of his life – he has a very strong personality and mind – he is not the typical 17 year-old. Many kids in this same position don’t have a doctor to give it to them straight; they blame genetics or some random disease (which is usually caused from being fat) to explain and give permission to be fat. Some kids are sent to dieticians – where they are given the guidance of don’t eat too much, follow the Food Pyramid, Eat 3 meals a day, don’t snack. So basically starve and think about food all the time. Wow, I wonder why it’s not working for these kids…or adults for that matter.

So cult or not, I am Paleo and if asked for advice will recommend Paleo and if asked to explain I’ll go into the weeds and lend out my Paleo and Gary Taubes’s books. I’ll even recommend they read my blog…..because I’ve become OBSESSED with my page views number!!! 3000 right around the corner!

Like "Fat Hunter" here: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Fat-Hunter/150089965023251

Tell him what a great job he did - he IS a role model!!!

Good-bye Jacksonville

Before anyone yells at me - I got this pic off of Google.

A little over nine years ago my family and I left Jacksonville, North Carolina and headed to Headquarters Marine Corps in Washington, D.C. Ever since we left Ray and I reminisce about the “good ole days in NC”. This past week I had a meeting on Camp Lejeune and Ray and the girls drove down with me. We had a chance to see our very first house together, the brig where we met, and Ray went to the Police Department he got his first cop job at…..and we realized....we are over you Jacksonville.

Ray had a few hours to kill when he dropped me off on base for my work meeting so he went to see his friend who still is a cop at Jacksonville Police Department. His friend is getting ready to pin on Deputy Chief. Now if you are not familiar with Police Department ranking….that’s pretty effin high up there. At first this was bittersweet to Ray. His words were, “What rank would I be if we wouldn’t have left? At least a Lieutenant.”

Then he came and picked me up and we drove over to the Brig, where we were both stationed and met.

The Brig looks a lot smaller now than it did when we were there…..and a whole helluva lot more depressing. There were Marines milling about the barracks which are still run down (they were decrepit when we lived in them 12 years ago) and helluva lot more depressing looking too! Nothing has changed there except there is construction for the new Pre-trial confinement facility.

I told Ray that the Sgt that replaced me out of legal when we left for DC was now the XO (second in command) at the Brig. And how one of our friends was the CO (THE guy) at the Brig on the West Coast. We both wondered where we’d be and what rank, if we would have stayed in.

But then we realize who cares.....neither one of us WANTS to be on active duty any longer; that is why we left. Sick of reindeer games and happy to be civilians (no ill will to my those still serving - these are OUR personal feelings). Then we come to the conclusion that it really isn’t that hard to be a big fish in a small pond. No disrespect to the big fish – just putting things into perspective and they are what they are....dick as it sounds.

We spent some time walking around the mall and driving around the town and looking at the new restaurants and shops and looking at the old stuff that we used to frequent. And we realized this town is really freakin aggravating. Everyone is a Lance Corporal and god luv em cause we need em, but damn are most LCpls the stupidest bunch of kids you’ll meet. They spend every last dime they have on sports cars or luxury SUVs – first time any of these kids had a few dollars in their pocket and they foolishly run out and buy THE car of their dreams. You know the car, the one their parents still can’t afford. 76% of all woman in the town are pregnant. There is a tattoo parlor on every street corner….even in the mall! You can drink booze while you do your laundry and some Gunny will inevitably “Devil Dog” some young Marine for wearing a hat inside the Chick-fil-a.

The town locals are typical small town people – close minded, think the globes axis is J-Ville, NC and bitch about the Marine Corps (but if in some miraculous miracle Camp Lejeune were to pick up and relocate, Jacksonville would rank right up there with the poorest cities in the US).

There is little to nothing to do in Jacksonville, NC. We tried walking from our hotel to get some ice cream…..we forgot this is not a town for walkers and almost got splattered on Rt 24. There is one movie theater, a Chuckie Cheese, several Waffle Houses, a Wal-Mart and a hundred different restaurants to choose from. There is a beach close by but life gets in the way, work, homework, afterschool activities, house maintenance, etc and outside of the good weather it is the only perk to living in Jacksonville, NC.

All of our friends (except the newly appointed Deputy Chief) are gone from Jacksonville, NC.

When we moved to DC we were in shell shock. We were new parents to a toddler and a brand new baby; we went from small town living to big city; a monster commute which turned a normal eight hour work day into 12; learning how to use public transportation; strange weather to attempt to plan for; new jobs; new homes; and still growing up ourselves.

And these were big changes neither of us had prepared ourselves for. The thing with it is we were pretty miserable in Jacksonville and were excited to leave; we lived in a really shitty house; Ray was tired of small town Police politics where well and building checks were routine police work; and only nine out of the thirty-one months I was at the Brig did I NOT work for this bitch Sgt who made my life miserable. We had rose colored our memories because we had so many difficult challenges in DC.

One of my MSgt’s once told me your best duty station is the one you just left and the one you are heading to. I laughed when he told me that but this trip really clued me into the meaning of that message. You can idolize memories and always have hope for better things in the future – but if you aren’t careful the really good things that are going on in your life right now will slip by you unnoticed and unappreciated.

I'm not saying Jacksonville is a dump.....although it is - but if we were still there things would have worked out for us - but we aren't - we are here - and these little reflections are valuable.

Take a minute today and reflect on the people who touch your life daily and make your life right where you are home.

Metro Dash DC 2011

Cute outfit, huh? I put a lot of thought into what I was going to wear for the Metro Dash. I knew it was going to be blistering hot on Dash Day – and it was - 93 degrees and 86% humidity – and I always train in just a sports bra and shorts. I knew there was going to be some walls to scale, sleds to push, tires to flip, and low crawling involved so I wanted to wear something to protect my shins and I didn’t want my ass to hang out of my shorts when I was bent over pushing the sled. So this was what I came up with.

Well luckily there are no pictures of it but my vajayjay came out a few times and blew kisses to her fans. She was like “HELLLLLL-OOOO” muah, muah. Oh boy.

The Metro Dash was super fun. It was a lot harder than I anticipated; I had watched YouTube clips and had seen other female times posted in other cities and really wanted to get sub eight minutes.

I even stood on the sidelines and watched for over an hour the other competitors, mostly the teams, run through the course and a lot of them were walking. I said to myself I will not walk any of it. Ha ha ha. I did end up walking, I wish I wouldn’t have, I wish you got to go through it twice I know I would’ve gotten a better score.

The obstacle that got me was the second one in, it was pulling the sled with a rope then pushing it back – the sled had a 25# plate on it. The sled was a commercial three-leg design, the skis were rubber. I had no problem pulling it to me. I got down to push it back and was flying until I hit the half way mark and the rubber skis dug into the chewed up black top and my forward momentum came to a screeching halt. I repositioned myself and tried again and the sled just wouldn’t move. What the heck, I thought to myself, my stress level started to sky rocket and my breathing became labored. Ray is yelling on the sidelines, “This just like in the backyard, Ang, move it!” I somehow got that sled to the other side and on to the tire flips but my breath was gone.

I flipped the tire up and back, scaled a wall and was onto the cargo net. The cargo net and the monkey bars were the events I was most worried about. I got up the cargo net with ease and was starting to catch my breath again.

I ran through the other obstacles of staggered sized box jumps, scaling walls, ducking under, balance beams and a farmer’s walk and up to the monkey bars. I walked up to my nemesis (I have NEVER in my life been able to get across monkey bars) grabbed on and flew across with ease!! Woo-hoo. Now the referee that was at the monkey bars must of noticed my girlfriend blowing kisses and told me he liked my shorts, he said he had a pair as well but didn’t have the body for them. He looked exactly like the guy from LMFAO – hair and all =)

Then I was up and over a chain link fence and onto carrying more stuff down and back. Whew….last few obstacles. I’m beat. Then I hear, “Go mommy, go” – I look over and my babies are waving and smiling. I shot them a wink and salute and pick up my pace. Threw a window, over some more balance beams, up another wall and down the side and yet ANOTHER EFFIN THING TO CARRY DOWN AND BACK. A heavy ass log. Ok, focus. I am trying to stretch my legs. My lungs are burning….I hear Ray on the side losing his mind, “This is it, home stretch, push yourself, sprint, Ang, sprint!” I think I am sprinting….I hope I am sprinting….I’m done!!
Some guy is fumbling with medals, I stop so he can place this over my head – I’d rather keep walking and catch my breath – I walk a few more steps and another guy is stopping me for my microchip. He’s fumbling with the scissors and I am trying to compose my breathing and I realize exactly how HOT I am.

I finally get through and there is my family and my friends. All big smiles and congrats! Wow, I feel amazing….minus the extreme burn in my lungs (that lasted hours later!). We snap a few pictures. An older lady walks up to my daughters and ask them if they are proud of their mom and they give her polite smiles and the lady grabs my hand and elbow and says “good job, mom, great role model” I’m beaming =D

We go and check my time, my watch I wore said 10:25 – 10:27 was official – 4th out 56 women! 49th out of 194 (at that time, ended up 49th out of 213) Woo-hoo….but that means I should’ve moved faster on SOMETHING. Damn it! I’m crushed for a second, Ray gives me that look – he knew I was going to beat myself up over that. Another young girl who was in the wave in front of me came and told me she had watched me run through and how fantastic I did. I feel better.
I got beat by the fastest woman by 33 seconds. It’s a failure teaches you things to avoid, modify or improve lesson. Next year I’ll have it in the bag ;-)

I had a blast and can’t wait for the Primal Mud Run in November!!

White Power

That title got your attention didn’t it? Yeah, it got mine too.

All men are created equal with the right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. These are famous words. These are true words; there should be a disclaimer on the backside of this quote that states “however men will self-deny their ability to exercise these rights.”

My best friend, Dewaine, said to me once, “being a black man is foremost in my mind at all times. “ And I told him that was crazy, he said you aren’t black. Dewaine is the most intelligent person I know. He is a scholar with a debatable, calculating and tactful mind. He is also intimately knowledgeable about many, many cultures. Unlike Dewaine I have no desire to visit other countries. I really, really love the U.S. and would be devastated if I got stuck in customs with pot in my backpack and ended up in a Turkish prison with a pig as a companion. Or worse lost my passport and an evil foreign doctor harvested my organs. I’m okay in the Nation’s Captiol….and honestly…shhhh, don’t tell Ray, but if I had it my way I’d build a building of cinder blocks on my dad’s garage lot and torture high school kids who paid me their allowance by making them flip tires, pull trucks and push sleds in Altoona, PA. I want simple things from life. I cannot stand drama - if I get a whiff the only thing you will see is my tail end – but you better look fast cause I can sprint quick!

Recently I had a taste of drama that put me in a very awkward position – I had a choice of staying quiet or speaking my mind and I stayed quiet – which is very unlike me and it unsettled me. The Marine Corps taught me that silence is consent; that you don’t bitch without proposing a solution.

But in this situation I am going against my grain. I stayed silent. I had no solution. Errrrr……

Scenario: My husband has two brother’s and a sister; his only brother that gives a shit about him; would kill and hide bodies with him; would give him the shirt off his back; would drive 16 hours to stand beside him while he had heart surgery; would take the fall when a 16-year old Ray did stupid shit; would drive 16 hours to hang dry wall and work like a dog for 72 hours straight and then drive back another 16 hours…you are getting the point. Well he pulls up to our home with a “White Power” sticker across the front windshield of his monster truck.

Oy vey.

This was a confusing experience for me – I don’t consider myself “white” or Caucasian. Caucasus is a mountainous region in southeastern Europe that lies between the Black and Caspian seas. Ummm yeah, I’ve never been there so how am I supposed to claim Caucasian – I’m pretty sure my ancestors weren’t there either. From what I can gather my family comes from poor farmers – and hell I’m Paleo – I don’t want to claim that shit!

Asian is for people that are from the Asian continents, Pacific-Islander for our Pacific born friends, Hispanic is a stretch these days but I still get it, Africa….well I don’t know any black people from Africa all the black people I know come from the Carolina’s, or Philly, or Louisiana, or California….The race I claim is American. My family could not ever give me a solid answer on where my ancestors came from – and to be honest I don’t know anything about Ireland, and I’d be ashamed to claim France or Germany. So American it is.

I can tell you that I am not an idiot and that having “White Power” written on your vehicle is going to offend a lot of people.

I wasn’t exactly sure how to address this, so like most things I didn’t give myself enough time to ponder and things were said, feelings were hurt between Ray and I.

I chose to be silent with my brother-in-law and let Ray handle it and it bothered me that I didn’t get a chance to spout off at the mouth. But I did spout off to my husband and I shouldn’t have.

Here is why:

I know he isn't a White Supremacist. I think he is a knucklehead and very ignorant. He is not intentionally a malicious person and I don’t think he is racist – I think he pretty much feels equally shitty about everyone (right or wrong).

The situation reminds me of the fable of the old man with the long beard who refuses to keep it groomed. Over the years it collects all kinds of debris and food to the point the old man smells nothing but rotten air all the time. He thinks a beautiful rose garden in blooms stinks, lush orange blossoms reek, and even freshly brewed coffee, limes, mimosas and freesia have a horrible stench! He walks around miserable and blaming everything for stinking up HIS air. Then one day he decides to clean up his beard and realizes he was his own stink! I know I am smearing this story (Leadership Freak tells it best!). But it’s relevant – if you can look past your own insecurities, admit when you don’t know the answer and identify your fears your own stink isn’t so stank….and you stop stinking up everyone else’s air.

You’ll never be excellent if you take the approach that you already know it all. We all have monsters and the first step to conquering your fear of these monsters is admitting you have them. One of my biggest monsters is not having something to say about an issue. Like this instance with my bil. I need to accept that sometimes I am not going to have a clear position on an issue. That being undecided is okay. At first I was furious over this situation and I couldn’t say what I had on my mind and to be honest what I was thinking seemed like bullshit reasons: what will my neighbors think, if my friend Crystal was here how would she feel, it takes a lifetime to develop trust and a four-day trip from the in-laws to ruin it. But in the end me cutting my bil down didn’t make me any better than him plastering “White Power” on the front of his truck. But in the same sentence I am not going to be able to educate him to see that he is wrong – this again is a self-realization that he will have to realize he is his own stink.

Me, being the stink in the situation with Ray, caused him to feel really bad about himself, about his place in our marriage. Because my family has done some really rotten things to him and he has never told me that they are not welcome in our house. Sometimes even when the situation is really awkward and embarrassing from an outside view, the view from inside still is he drove 16 hours to stand beside my husband and me during the most frightening experience of our lives. His ignorance in prejudice doesn’t undue 35 years of being as good of a big brother as he can be with what he knows. And if he ever wants some guidance and not guilt about facing his monsters I can lend him an ear.

Was I eating the ass out of a dead cat last night?

The last few mornings this past holiday weekend I have woke up with the foulest taste in my mouth. My tongue is coated and I literally have to brush my teeth, roof of my mouth, tongue, gums and inside of my cheeks TWICE before it dissipates. Blahhhhh.

I never really noticed this aspect of Paleo before but over the holiday weekend I had a few more non-Paleo treats than normal: Poke Cake, beer, Doritos, and a lot of watermelon. All tasty but man oh man, these foods breed bacteria in your mouth like the bathroom floor of a seedy bar.

I also found a Paleo toothpaste on http://www.paleodietlifestyle.com/ – coconut oil and baking soda. This is supposed to allow your tooth enamel to heal. I may actually give this a try.
Short and sweet post today folks; I am working on a do-zee post for tomorrow.


Get prepared for a major rant on prejudice, small-, narrow-minded, uneducated, insecure assholes….this may rank as #1 in blast-asshole posts. One can only hope the offenders read my blog =)

Childhood Obesity

I recently had a coffee conversation with someone about childhood obesity. I really didn’t think too much on the subject so it was interesting to have this conversation and work through my thoughts and actually form an opinion on the issue.

The topic was treating childhood obesity. Now I’m not actually sure what treating obesity in a child entails. But I am going to assume it sets out to make an already awkward and depressed kid feel more self-conscious. So I started digging around the First Lady’s “Let’s Move” website and they are recommending that the problem is that kids take the bus instead of walking, school lunches, lack of physical fitness in schools, the internet and video games, frequent snacking, too much fast food and uneducated parents and elected officials.

Typical suggestions were home cooked meals, getting elected officials to take an interest in changing school lunches and pt programs, limiting video games and the internet, and no snacks. So basically taking away this fat kids only enjoyment of video games and internet, and then starving them by taking away from their snacks – then to make things even better the local elected officials will decide their should be school pt and make them squeeze their fat ass into a school gym uniform and stand around a gym not able to participate because they are too fat – thus causing them to be more depressed. Uhhhh……What?

First and foremost I believe it is 100% the parents fault for enabling their child to become obese. I don’t want to hear about more snacking, buses transporting kids to school vice walking, video games, internet, lack of schools physical fitness programs or the junk food schools serve. When you got pregnant or decided to get pregnant (conscience decision or not) you have to have the intestinal fortitude to step up and be a parent. Now let me remind you that parenting is not for the weak of heart. So if you can’t say no, don’t know how to put yourself in super uncomfortable positions, cannot run on broken sleep (for years), or think that somehow having a baby will provide you the unconditional love you’ve been seeking you need not apply.

My daughters snack, they play video games, they have access (although extremely supervised) to the internet, they go to school and take gym and they take the bus to school. Neither of my daughters is overweight by even a pound. My youngest daughter is even more lazy than me – and I AM lazy. Lounging is my FAVORITE thing to do. I love to watch consecutive movies in a row, nap, cruise the internet or yack on my blog. I am not overweight either.

Fat kids are fat because their parents suck at parenting. Now this might piss some people off – especially parents of fat kids. I recognize the fact that there is such piss poor guidance on what is actually good for your body out there and that we have more doctors than we really need that are willing to prescribe a pill or diagnose some strange ailment that explains why a child is overweight or obese without putting any blame on the parent. I recognize these facts.

That is the reasons I have this blog. To share with people the Paleo lifestyle. Of course I am jaded and feel that Primal, Paleo, Carb-free, Atkins whatever you would like to call it is the best lifestyle. I have many, many reasons for these convictions. My husband’s cholesterol reduction, numerous people’s weight loss success, the disappearance of gout, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis and the best one severe control over type II diabetes. These again are all facts.

Carbohydrates – ALL carbohydrates are turned into glucose in your body – your body can only tolerate 4 grams of glucose in the blood stream at once – insulin is released and the rest is locked into your fat cells for later use as fuel. However in the typical American diet the body never gets the chance to tap into the fat cells and use this energy because we are constantly dumping more carbohydrates into our body than it can digest. This my dear friend is what is making our children fat, and obese.

Just to give you an idea – a 20 oz bottle of orange Fanta has 74 grams of sugar – that’s 18.5 teaspoons of sugar that is converted to glucose.

Feeding them Fruity Pebbles for breakfast, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and mac and cheese and chicken nuggets for dinner (I’ve actually had parents proudly tell me they give their kids chicken…you know chicken nuggets) – oh their poor little pancreases are working non-stop. And for snacks? Granola bars, fruit snacks, chips, capri suns, cheez-its and oreos – so carbs, carbs, carbs and more carbs – or glucose, glucose, glucose, glucose. And for the health conscience parent they serve granola bars, cliff bars, 100% juice boxes, fruit, 100 calorie snack packs….ah yeah, that’d be glucose, glucose and more glucose.

So even the “health” conscience parents are failing! 100 calorie snacks are all glucose – and they lack nutrients and your body needs nutrients for digestion – so feeding your kids these “treats” foods is actually stealing nutrients from your kids. But they are saving them from the “evil” fat….but the fat that is in these “treats” is evil. Don’t get me started on PUFA’s!!

Enough is enough! Feed your kids meat, veggies, nuts, eggs for eff-sake! If they don’t like it OH WELL!!! They will eat when they get hungry and they will eat what you serve – that is the joy of being the parent. What you say goes. YOU are in control – not them. If your kid doesn’t like it – too effing bad – trust me they won’t starve. Put your foot down, and if they throw a tantrum that is over the top – whoop their ass! Do us all a favor and let your kid know there are rules, boundaries and a hierarchy to society. Treating your kids like the world revolves around them and their $hit don’t stink only produces a worthless self-serving brat. That’s what the French are for – discipline your kids and they won’t get fat.

Parents need educated and the wrong information is too readily available – it pisses me off. People site “they” say – or better yet “Dr. Oz” had a show, or the First Lady says we need to change the school menus and add physical fitness back into the class. I am definitely not opposed to that – nothing is more stressful than getting to work and looking in the backseat to see one of my kid’s lunch boxes and wondering what they are going to get stuck eating at school. And I LOVE physical fitness – nothing like wearing your ass out in a game of kickball – not everyone is supposed to win – get the fuck over it – play harder next time and you won’t lose. Fuck Dr. Oz - he is NOT credible!!! And "they" - PLEASE learn that just because something is given to you by a doctor or a dietician DOESN'T mean it's factual.

Here is the basics parents – feed your kids meat, veggies, eggs and nuts – skimpy on the fruit – and have treats occasionally cause they are STILL kids. But that’s what they are TREATS! NOT rewards – if you reward your kid with food you are an ass. If you take your kids to get ice cream after they lose at T-Ball and YES you keep score – because everyone is a winner – you are using and TEACHING them that food is a comfort and reward system. And they will fall into this pattern for the rest of their life. I’m sad, I had a bad day at work, my friends don’t like me, I got a bad grade, I’m stuck in traffic, the air conditioner broke and is going to cost $1200 to fix…..I’m going to eat ice cream to feel better. Blaaaaaahhhh…

Too much carbohydrates = too much glucose = FAT BODIES. Simple shit if you ask me. Now grow a pair of balls and raise your kid’s right.