The Concentrated Effort of Obtaining a Warrior Mind Frame

I have been inundated with catchy slogans and phrases lately there is “Strong is the new Skinny” “Girls Gone Strong” “Fit. Fierce. Fearless.” Heck I have one of my own; Wimp to Warrior. I’ve “liked” these websites on Facebook and browsed through the site owner’s postings and the member’s. Most of it is quotes or videos of girls training or recipes and nutrition tips– hey same basic stuff I have on my site!

But then I start to read through the posts and I come to the realization that a majority the girls on these sites have serious body issues or are recovering (or trying to recover) anorexics. They are using “being strong” as a replacement for their obsessive tendencies. Instead of restricting food they are precisely calculating macronutrients (carbs, protein and fat, commonly referred to as macros) for what they refer to as “strength gains and goals” which is a viable term. However my problem with this is that they are still obsessing about what they look like, just using this mantra of “I’m getting strong” as their justification to obsess about never being happy with their body.

Their friends and family frowned, scowled and/or threw their ass into some form of rehab because they were committing suicide slowly by starving their organs and forcing their bodies to cannibalize their own muscle and organs (and remember the heart is a muscle), but their new obsession is going to the gym and lifting heavy to add “muscle”, however their precisely calculated macros are at about 1300 calories of plain chicken breast, egg whites, salad, green beans (broccoli bloats), some oats mixed with some flavor of sugar free Walden’s farm syrups, sugar free jello with sugar free whipped cream and the never ending low carb/net carb protein shakes mixed with water or turned into some sort of pudding, or cookie, or muffin. These women aren’t cured of anorexia; they’ve just found a new avenue to carry on their obsessive traits, they still hate their bodies; their real health problem has not been addressed or cured; and even worse they openly educate on these forums for other women who have body issues to jump on this “I hate myself so much that I will eat nothing but chemicals and obsess over every fake food morsel macro I put in my mouth and sit around and design workouts that will burn x amount of calories while only consuming x amount of calories to be perfect” bandwagon of neurotic-ness. But hell it’s really popular these pages have THOUSANDS of members eating this shit up with a spoon.

My Wimp to Warrior slogan is more a frame of mind to obtain - a concentrated effort of discipline, dedication and really hard work. Which will reflect in all aspects of your life...not just in the gym.

Don’t get me wrong, I think a girl with some muscle is much better than a girl that looks like a skeleton. But let’s clarify here…neurotic is neurotic. And it’s not attractive. Period. Let’s face it, if us girls could be skinny we would. That’s a no brainer. Maybe it was playing with Barbie as little girls that put this magical glow around being 5’8” and 120#s. I get it, there is always something that seems extra attractive about a girl that looks great in skinny jeans. And you know what? That is fantastic. Great for her! But that’s not me.

We seriously need to stop caring so much what others think and we especially need to stop caring what we think others think. If someone feels the need to compare and or knock you down to feel better about themselves there will be absolutely nothing you can do other than MAYBE sitting down and giving this person an earful of a daily walk in your shoes and the world according to you. And even THEN you have a 50/50 chance of winning them over to see things from your perspective.

That’s a lot of time spent for little value. One of the most important themes I carry in my hip pocket is “I cannot control others, I can only control how I react to them.” I have better things to do with my time than to justify my existence to someone that has absolutely zero impact on my life. Not to be an ass…I’m jus sayin’.
I found the most attractive thing to a man is NOT being neurotic. Trust me I’ve been 12% body fat, I’ve been 25% body fat, I’ve been pregnant and bloated and not able to see my toes; I’ve had blonde hair, red hair, brown hair, black hair and the one time I accidentally dyed it silver; I’ve had short hair, long hair and in between hair, it’s been curly, strait and there were even times it was so dry I thought I might have to shave it all off…..my husband loves me regardless….he can tolerate me a whole helluva lot more when the main conversation doesn’t revolve around my waist circumference, triceps fat, wing span and the length or the color of my hair. I know he enjoys spending time with me most when I am being goofy and not taking myself seriously. He’d much rather sit around and laugh with me than try and bring me out of an imagined sulk that I’m somehow less worthy of a human because I don’t look as good in skinny jeans as Justin Bieber.

If I spend even 20 percent of my time focused on pleasing others and let’s be honest I probably don’t even have a good idea of what would please someone else, I’d have to make an educated guess and who knows how long it would even take to come up with the guesstimate. Well that’s 20 percent of time plus however long it took me to take an “educated” guess at what this asshole wants, of my time wasted. And time thieves come in all shapes and sizes and unfortunately they usually come in the form of our mothers, and close friends. It is okay to accept and acknowledge that some people are just poison and sometimes those people just happen to be related to you. I am not saying you have to disown them but I am suggesting that you recognize it and take their suggestions and comments for face value and it never hurts to tell them exactly how, what they say is making you feel. If they truly love you and value you your relationship they will at the very least listen to you – will they change, meh, probably not, but at least you didn’t let someone roll over on ya. Having a strong backbone is essential in the concentrated effort to have discipline and dedication ;-)

It’s time for you to focus on productive thoughts, positive energy and plans. Let go of the animosity, resentment, envy, jealousy….these are all negative thoughts that will tear you down in a heartbeat. They can ruin a good day. So let go of it whether you are imposing these feelings on yourself or you feel these energies coming from others.

I know this is more easily said than done. It’s going to take a concentrated effort. I recognize this. But I am also going to tell you that this concentrated effort that you will have to take to love yourself and avoid negative attitudes, behavior and energy you are going to need to apply to all aspects of your life to include your food choices and getting your butt up off the couch to move! Yep, I said it….no magic pill, no amount of coffee, no special mix of bananas and water….just a hard core concentrated effort to have discipline and dedication. Sorry they don’t sell it at GNC, QVC, HSN or the Vitamin Shoppe.

Some pulled pork and mashed cauliflower (as much as you’d like to eat) or 400 points worth of a Jenny Craig frozen chicken alfredo. And hell this might mean that 30# pork shoulder you smoked on Sunday is what you eat everyday for lunch that week. I know this isn’t as exciting as being awarded 1000 points and being able to eat whatever you want as long as you stay in your 1000 point range – but I guarantee you will be more satiated.

Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig are excuses to eat shit food. An excuse to fill ourselves with 1000 points of junk; of course you’ll lose some weight, you are restricting calories. That’s simple calories in versus calories out for losing weight. If you consume less energy than you expend then you lose weight. However this DOES NOT mean you’ll be healthy or look good naked….but more importantly you won’t be able stick with it. Junk makes you hungry for more junk – so when you embark on these adventures of 1750 calorie diets, or Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig it’s a numbers game – you eat your allotted number and then fight the hunger beast the rest of the day. And the hunger beast will be there because junk food, especially foods made with sugar and grain are designed to make you hungry. I can’t sell you more Oreos if you only eat one cookie and are satisfied now can I?

But our need to make excuses for filling ourselves with junk doesn’t just rotate around our kitchen; it spills into the rest of our lives. We fill our minds full of garbage all the time. I cannot tell you how many times I have overheard people concerned with how many days Kim Kardashian was married. REALLY? Why the fawk do you care? Does her marriage impact yours? Does it somehow make YOU feel better about yourself because you have been married longer? Or that you aren’t married at all? If I am going to have a conversation with someone I’d like it to be a positive and thought provoking conversation. We start talking about what Michelle Obama is wearing instead of her husband’s policies I am going to glaze over like a jelly donut. This trash doesn’t enrich anyone’s life….well it is certainly “in-riching” Kim Kardashian….you making her popular in turn E! pays her more money to do more stupid ass shows.

By watching these shows and increasing their ratings, by buying these rag magazines and increasing their sales you are endorsing this lewd behavior. By endorsing this lewd behavior you encourage your children to act this way. This behavior is rewarded with popularity and a pay check. Think I am crazy….ummm…ok, explain Jersey Shore, Basketball Wives, Real Housewives of ANY county, RealWorld, Wild Girls, Bad Girls, The Braxtons, The Kardashians, 16 and Pregnant, Teen Mom, America’s Next Top Model, Anything for Love, the Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Big Brother, Jon and Kate….OK, really, have I made my point yet? Shut this shit off and become a good role model for your kids or kids in your life. There certainly isn’t enough out there, especially female role models.

I’m getting side tracked….I’m never going to make a living off coaching; it’s my hobby. I only make money off the sessions I sell and even if I did this full time I couldn’t train someone every hour – that is where I would have to “supplement” my income with some sort of gimmick. Well I don’t have a gimmick. I mean Work. Really. Hard. Isn’t really for sale now is it. I do love cheesy t-shirts; but seriously you can’t make any money off shirts. I’m proud as hell to see someone I have touched in a positive way in regards to health and exercise sport one of my shirts. I do not expect to get any business off my dad running around Altoona, PA sporting a Gym Cellar shirt. I was just super flattered he wanted to buy a few of them to start with. If you can print enough shirts you can probably make about $4 off of each one – hardly paying the mortgage.

That is why so many trainers resort to the supplements. The shakes, smoothies, pills….they make a few bucks from the company for selling the garbage. The more they sell the less actual coaching they have to do. And I’ll be honest with you coaching is a hard, hard job. Anyone that thinks it is easy has never done it or never done it correctly. There are nights after my clients are all gone I sit in my gym and look around and have to gather myself before I can go upstairs and spend time with my family. I get emotionally wiped out. If my client comes in and is upset it is my job to lift their spirits and get them focused. If they come in and don’t want to get out of their comfort zone it’s my job to pull them kicking and screaming out of it so they make progress so the hard earned money they are paying me is worth it to them. If they have questions I need to have answers or I need to find the answer for them. I need to be able to demonstrate an exercise using simple terms and break it down into simple steps. I need to chew their ass when they aren’t doing what they are supposed to do when they leave me.

It’s HARD work! And its work I am not going to make a living (or at least a living I can’t pay MY mortgage with…damn housing market crash….). And I am OK with that….well actually not really, I’d love to be able to do just this – but here’s the problem….no one wants to Work. Really. Hard. No one wants to make that concentrated effort at discipline and dedication. We are indoctrinated to think we will fail when we should win every single time….with a concentrated effort at discipline, dedication, and hard work. But hey, if you get sick of failing with what you are doing and you want to try my way – shoot me an email – I’ll hook you up.