Priceless things according to Ange

 

Me, still chasing a heavy snatch with good form at 44yo - 120#s

 

I recently had a birthday, I did absolutely nothing for the day but reflect. It was glorious and mundane and in hindsight I wish I‘d spent the day seeking out some sort of adventure.

 

But….another year in the books! This year was….dare I say it…quiet. Ray and I decided to become entrepreneurs in 2015, each year since it has been action packed chaos and the learning was endless. I was at a point where I would wake up and ask “what will I learn today or wonder how I will my ass get handed to me today?” And the day never disappointed! Until recently….it has been quiet. Don’t get me wrong we’ve had the usual twists and turns, honestly they were kind of repeats and it wasn’t that history was repeating itself because we hadn’t learned the first go round, it was just a part of this job of selling fitness.

 

Our first few years here felt a lot like spinning tires in mud. We had the gas pedal of life pressed to the floor and saw a few victories, a lot of failure, a lot of doubt, a lot of setbacks, a lot of ruthless, cut-throat experiences and a lot of what we do best….work. It was a whirlwind of chaos, we didn’t think too much about it, we just handled it. We had faith in ourselves, our vision and our work ethic.

 

I share my experiences because even if you don’t own a business, they are relevant to life. You see I am currently a tad bored because dancing with the chaos of what I wanted….a successful gym, paid off. Most people are in love with the victory, but not the fight. And this is the most simple and basic component of life: struggle determines success.

 

My experiences running a business can be relatable to personal goals in sometimes we hang on to a goal too long, or we let go too soon. How do you know? When the process no longer serves you or your health. Regardless of how far away a goal seems, or how slow (or even impossible) forward progress feels... if the process of pursuing it makes you better, if it enhances your life, instills discipline or gives you instruction you know you need, then the goal is worthwhile.

 

If you're meeting that goal, exceeding it even, but the process is meaningless, destructive, or pushes you in a direction that doesn't serve you, then it is a bad goal.

 

Quitting shouldn't be about how close the goal is, or how immediate or visible success is- it should be about how much value is in the path it is forcing you to walk.

 

And this is what I've come back to over the years. The quality of the process. And asking myself to measure the importance- not of the goal- but of one more step on the path towards it.

 

If you’re new to me you might not know I quit a high-paying executive level job when I was 40. Just quit. I was making $120K a year, benefits, retirement, the whole deal. I hated every day of my life. The struggle was very real, the success was a thin veil. At one time the job served me well, I don’t think I ever “loved” the job or had a passion for it, but at one time I was very good at the job, I was experienced and had good insight and made sound decisions regarding what was entrusted to me. When I decided to take on the task of running my own gym in 2015 my executive level job started to no longer serve a purpose for me except the paycheck was a huge financial security net. I am extremely thankful we had that income because owning our own business didn’t earn us any take home money for several years.

 

I walked away from my high-paying job without one single regret, or doubt, and to this day I do not miss it. I walked away from this job not feeling entitled for something better, but wanting something extremely different and not scared of the work or the process it would take to get there. I will continue to choose things I need to do, things that make me better, things that I need- those have tended to lead me to milestones that have had real value in my life.

 

When I was 20 I found myself doing some really hard shit. Mentally hard. Physically hard. And exhausting. The most work…to that point in my young life…my young, sheltered, little ass had ever done.

 

I was dirty, sweaty, my feet hurt, I couldn’t wear my contacts, my scalp was itchy from having my hair pulled back and not getting to wash the sweat and sand off my scalp. The days were hot, and the nights were cold enough to shiver.

 

My canteen smelled like chewing tobacco, and every MRE I had was chili mac (I despise this disgusting creation).

 

All I wanted to do was quit. Go home. Look cute. Sleep in. Take a hot shower. Eat a peanut butter sandwich. Watch nonsense TV and never…and I mean never smell CLP again.

 

“No one cares, Ange”….the wise, yet simple words of my Pap Brown. I was complaining to him on a pay phone in the middle of nowhere, on a collect call he had accepted. “Ya gotta be harder then woodpecker lips if you’re gonna make it in life, kid.”

 

Ugh….this guy and his stupid sayings. I just wanted him to say come home, quit, it won’t matter, you’re just a girl, do girl stuff. But he’s trying to make me feel…responsible. Ugh….this guy…I should’ve called my mom.

 

But I knew why I called him. And I knew that whatever he said was the best advice. You see my mom is a mom….she tries to fix stuff, shelter me, baby me. And my dad says stuff like…gee I don’t know what to tell ya, that’s a tough decision. But my pap…now that asshole would give it to you straight. He never sugar coated a turd and pass it as candy; he’d give it to you straight and that, that was why I called him that day.

 

I was blessed to serve 8 years in the Marine Corps on Active Duty and serve another 11 years as a Civilian Marine. I had some great experiences, some great leaders; I also had more horrible experiences and horrible leaders. The great leaders I can remember broad strokes, simple things. The horrible leaders, I can tell you detailed stories to include the date and weather.

 

A reflective list of practices learned over the last accumulated 44 years of my life

 

I shall title it...Priceless things according to Ange

 

You don’t have to beg extraordinary people to be...they just are...the rest of them...you deal with, they eventually rotate out.

 

Problems are part of life, not life, but they are not to be avoided.

 

Greatness doesn’t go on sale, there are no short cuts to greatness. Greatness costs what it costs....Only one way to earn an EGA.

 

Commitment doesn’t have anything to do with your feelings. Life spins on, with or without you. You’re only special to your mom.

 

You can’t have a pain free life. Self-help is predicated on peddling addictions to silly rules and mantras: get up earlier; now get up even earlier; get up so early there is no point in going to bed; don’t talk negative to yourself; fast in the morning; now fast in the afternoon; now fast in the evening; now fast for 18 hours; now fast for 7 days; don’t eat gluten; don’t eat nightshades; eat sticks of butter. They never address the underlying issue: you’re being lazy about your goals and don’t want to do the work to be successful.

 

Most of life is about cleaning. From your feet to your rifle to your rack.

 

People want to start their own business. But they don’t want to take risks, piss people of, fail, devote insane hours to something that won’t make any money for years.

 

Leadership is about respecting your team and working for them. What you do trumps anything you say.

 

Time is of the essence...shut up, move and work.

 

Being in charge means failure is your fault and success is for your team to claim.

 

Respect is earned by your actions, and there are consequences for any actions, even good intent.

 

And the best for last...vet your circle. If they run when there is a storm instead of standing arm and arm with you...let them run. If you aren’t sure if they should be in your circle...add some adversity and see where the day takes ya.