Lately I have been hearing the word failure used frequently in a negative way. I’ve had people in my “real” job use it, “I don’t want to set the team up for failure.” And I’ve heard my clients use it, “I have failed to get into shape on my own.” This prompted me to attempt to give you a new look on failure, because I see failure as a pre-requisite for improvement. I tell my kids all the time there is a very important lesson to take away from failure….they usually give me a blank stare.
Now quitting is a word that I do view as negative. The sad part about quitting is some people don’t even know they’ve quit! The person who assumes they know everything has quit learning – in whatever aspect it maybe – diet, training, driving, writing, listening, parenting, being married, you get the point. People who are afraid to look bad have quit as well. You can’t practice if you are afraid of looking bad. Sometimes you are just going to look stupid – everyone looks awkward attempting a clean and press for the first time. Everyone looks dumfound in the grocery store shopping Paleo the first time.
You cannot make excuses for your failures; you must adjust and correct yourself (and your kids!). Once you get it right –that’s the beginning – not the end.
If you have children and I do mean plural – there is a high probability that the baby is better at things than their older sibling(s). They probably spoke later than their older siblings, maybe walked later, maybe potty trained later; but I bet when they started talking they spoke more clearly and had a better vocabulary then their older sibling(s). When they started walking they were more coordinated and when they finally potty trained they had fewer accidents. Mozart and Michael Jackson were the babies. Do you know why the baby is always so much “better” than their older counterparts? Because they are able to watch and learn from their siblings, they absorb all of their sibling’s movements, speech, and technique to getting things done.
A perfect example of this was when my daughter did softball for a year. There was a little girl on the team who was the youngest and the smallest of all the girls, I can’t even remember what her real name is; we all called her Mighty Mouse. She would get up to the plate and crack that ball right out of the park. If she was in the field she would run, grab that ball and throw it with precision to the base. She was so damn good at softball at seven-years old because her older brother, who was 13, had been playing since he was six years old. Mighty Mouse had not only the opportunity to watch for seven years on the sidelines, but her brother tirelessly played catch and taught her to swing a bat.
I’ll touch quickly on myelin – I won’t bore you too much with the science behind it – if it interests you I suggest you grab a copy of “The Talent Code: Greatness isn’t Born. It’s Grown. Here’s How.” By Daniel Coyle. And he can give you the nitty-gritty details. I’ll give you the Cliff Notes. Myelin is the insulation that wraps the nerve fibers in your brain. The amount of myelin you have determines the signal strength, speed and accuracy of how the electricity travels and fires off synapses in the brain – or in plain speak myelin helps your brain puppet you to do things faster. How do you build more myelin? Hours and hours and hours and hours of practice.
Natural born talent is overrated. Hard work, failure and correction, hours of practice, a good coach, dedication, a diet high in Essential Fatty Acids (EFA) and passion are the traits to talent.
Myelin increases the speed at which impulses propagate, the more times the electrical impulse goes through a pattern the quicker it goes through that same pattern the next time your brain tells it to. Neurons are cells strictly dedicated to brain communication and human behavior and our mood is determined by the neuron activity (or lack of activity).
The myelin protective sheath is made up of 70% fat. Neuron membranes are also mostly double fatty acid molecules. Essential Fatty Acids (EFA) which come from avocados, nuts, olive oil and fish (Omega 3 & 9) transport lipids. Most American’s diets are high in Omega-6; about ten times too high. Diets high in Omega-6 can lead to impaired motor skills, and learning ability; depression; Multiple Sclerosis and Alzheimer’s Disease to name a few.
Plain and simple – if you want to be smarter, better skilled and have a healthy body you need to eat more Omega 3 and 9 foods and easy does it on the Omega-6 .
To get better you have to practice better. Practice your diet better. Practice your training better. What kind of practice?
Precision practice: paying keen attention to errors -when you get it right – now you begin
The three M’s:
Mimic – be like Mighty Mouse, watch and mimic someone that is really good at what you are striving to do.
Measure – don’t be afraid to look bad – compare yourself to the experts. Note your failures and improve and them. Don’t quit!
Motivation – Be inspired by others success not intimidated.
Get feedback: a coach that cares about your success more than you do, that will provide guidance, discipline and commitment to you.
Passion: listen to your “Primal Cues” – if you hate running; then maybe you should try something you like. Just a thought.
Having talent is hard work, it’s long hours of practice, being wrong more times than right, changing direction when you hit a ceiling and never quitting. But the good news is you have your whole life to get it right….so you better get busy!
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