Gratitude….it is the number one rule on my list of “how to
be happy”. Number ONE. Being number one, on any list, is a powerful
position.
I recently was in a situation where I was NOT shown
gratitude and it reminded me why I value this quality so much. I was shown no gratitude where I was a
volunteer and this perplexed me….but reminded me of #5 on my list, Forgive and
cope.
This is my personal list on “how to be happy”. I share it with you and perhaps you can use
some of my list to create your own.
#1 Show gratitude. Number
one, and for good reason. You should
always tell someone thank you for their time, their services, their
presence. Time is a valuable commodity
that is free and limited. Never take
someone’s time for granted. Saying “thank
you” makes the other person feel good. It
also says a lot about YOUR own personal character. People are not here for your own personal
gain, pleasure or service. Expecting others
to treat you well just because you are who you are, is venal and close minded,
regardless of what your mom tells you, the world does not revolve on you.
#2 Be kind. This ties
in quite nicely with number one. You
should always be kind because it is much easier to cross a bridge that hasn’t
been burned. If your emotions are high,
take a minute and re-group before you speak.
Even if showing gratitude and being kind is the last thing you WANT to
do….it is ALWAYS the better approach.
#3 Stare at the positive.
For far too many years I would look for the dull spot on the proverbial
shiny penny. I’d flip it over and over
in my hands looking for its flaws. And
the only thing that would result is I would take a perfectly good time and ruin
it. I have also found that when I focus
on everything that is “wrong” in my life I cannot appreciate the good people,
opportunities and experiences that I am blessed with. If I spend more time enjoying the people in
my life and the things that make me happy I can find solutions to the stuff
that is REALLY wrong and not just “not ideal”.
#4 Nurture your relationships properly. Spend quality TIME with the people you
love. Don’t buy gifts in replacement for
your time. Your time is valuable and
spending it with the people you care about strengthens the relationship and
says more than flowers. The best
memories I have with my husband are just that…memories. There is no “thing” that I value more than
taking our evening walk together and discussing our day, our tomorrows and all
the in between moments. Spending time
with him and our children and my friends reminds me that I am not alone, and
that makes me feel supported and empowered to do great things.
#5 Forgive and cope. Forgiveness
is a hard skill to learn – you must tell yourself to STOP thinking about the
scenario, replaying it over and over again in your mind. How you were done wrong, how you could have
handled it better, things you could have said.
The longer you dwell on it the easier it is for you to go to that place
in your mind. And this is actual
science. Your brain will create an electro-neuropath
to this memory and automatically go there without you consciously wanting
to. The longer you dwell on it the
harder it will be to get out of your mind….literally. You have to cope with “I was done wrong” in
YOUR way, a way that is healthy and allows YOU to forgive. That may mean coming to terms that the situation
“is what it is” and being done with it or asking for an apology. Either way you have to move forward…and refer
to #3
#6 Practice YOUR spirituality. This one usually confuses most people as I do
not have a deity. I stopped following a
god when I was 14. But I am still a
spiritual person I just express it differently than praying or thanking a
deity. My spirituality comes from
KNOWING and respecting just how small I am in this universe. Respecting that I am only here for a very
short time and that I must make the most of the time I am blessed with; live in
harmony with man, nature and beast; and in the blink of an eye the current situation
can get much, much worse. My
spirituality is being thankful and knowing just how lucky I am to have the
ability to move my body, exercise my mind, and use them both to be the best
Angela I can be. I use exercise as a
form of prayer. I show my body love and
kindness by stretching, strengthening and empowering my muscles and mind each time
I exercise. I am regarding the temple
that I live in with value by this act of love.
Exercise is not a form of punishment for dietary discretions or perceived
imperfections.
I wasn’t thanked for the time I volunteered, but it is what
it is. It speaks volumes of the people I
dealt with and their personal character – but I cope because I know that it is
not my job to police them, or teach them manners. I forgive them for their indiscretions and I thanked them for their
time. Because even in this negative
situation I know someone grew from this experience. And at the end of the day I still get to talk
with my friends and walk with my husband
and tell them all about my day and they all wrap their arms around me and says,
“I’m sorry that happened. “
What is YOUR “how to be happy”list?
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