More is more and less sucks

Ray is in New Mexico this week for work, it's been a strange change of dynamics here at home while he is gone. Although I can fair just fine on my own, and there have been aspects of this week that have been nice....I get to pick all the movies we watch and none of them had chainsaws, zombies, or explosions...some stuff just down right sucks!  

I hate sleeping alone. I mean really hate it. I hate not enjoying coffee together, not having someone put tooth paste on my brush for me, warm hugs and I feckin hate parenting alone.

We have good kids....like really great.  But there are those instances when I look in their rooms and see that they can't keep up with their stuff and for the umpteenth time have to ask them to pick up, tidy up, red up, wipe off, scrub down, throw out their stuff that I wonder if they will be affected by more is more and less sucks syndrome. 

You see I have just the right amount of sports bras to get me through my week's workouts. I keep track of these bitches like my life depends on it.  And when I look around my living room and see a bra, a tank top, three (not four) random socks I start to wonder where I went wrong that THIS is ok.  I don't remember when we were building the house scoping out the living room and thinking Rachel's socks would look perfect right there! Or when I bought my office desk that it would be a great place for jackets, jujitsu belts, stinky knee pads and low and behold more feckin socks. 

Notice the abundance of crap...oh yea, and a swing.....in her bedroom.

Combine this with the fact that their laundry basket is over flowing, there are more clothes randomly strewn on the floor and you start to wonder.  I do my laundry cause it literally means being clothed or not. They apparently have enough clothes to never do laundry. 

And of course the only person to blame for this atrocity is moi.

 I can actually recall spending money for pretty baby girl outfits for Sydney when she was a baby that I should have been saving for the rent or gas.  Guilty as charged. When I was growing up with a single mom our budget was tight and clothes were an extravagant expense. I still treat my own needs with this mind set but somehow I can't seem to say no to myself or my daughters when it comes to them.

As Christmas looms down on us I start trying to think of what to buy them.  They need nothing....literally nothing. Creative ideas of trips or concerts have been suggested by friends. Great ideas but actually implementing them is a logistical nightmare. Trying to travel with two four legged kids is near impossible and going to a concert that they would enjoy would cause post traumatic stress disorder for me.  Adopting a family for Christmas comes to mind but are there truly anyone who NEEDS stuff in this area or do they just THINK they need stuff? Most of the folks I know who aren't employed are on some sort of welfare and if they manage their p's and q's appropriately they can buy what they need. If they don't it's a "first world problem". Not a Ross problem. 

Ray and I have great kids....really great kids.  They are both in accelerated programs at school, they have kind hearts, they are polite, they are not self centric, they play instruments, play sports, neither of them is boy crazy and they aren't sneaky. They each have some friends that I think holy shit....tuck your daddy issues in honey, or wow your mom is really imposing her body image issues on you already or you sneaky little lying fuck.  And I have to smile smugly....but I am vigilant that the "more is more and less sucks" demon has a firm grip on Ray and I (yes, I'm dragging Ray down with me) and I don't want to impose him on the girls. 

So what will we do for Christmas this year? It has yet to be decided!