Banana Splits and Intensity: This isn't a Cult!

I am often described as “intense” ,“intimidating”, “confrontational” and other ummmm…compliments. I will admit I take certain things very seriously…uh, perhaps too serious. My overall lifestyle is one of them. I have very specific values that I hold myself too and want my daughters to honor and live by. I don’t expect my friends or family (family being those outside of Ray and the girls) to live by my expectations, however I do find that I get along better with people who have a similar perspective on life. I’ve learned to “just say no” to people and that is often seen as being an asshole….so be it.

This may seem contrary if you listen to me rant and rave, but I actually do get tired of complaining and am trying to loosen up.

So why am I ranting and raving about all this now? Well I have been super stressed about my diet lately. Measuring glucose levels, cholesterol, triglycerides, HDL, LDL, monitoring body temperature, weight, body fat – over analyzing every morsel of food – fasting (even when I’m hungry!). It’s all been a lot – as I recognize in a sane mind that this has been a bit of an overkill. Today my husband played hookie and we went to get lunch and see a movie. We went to the mall as it was closest to the movie theater and of course they have the normal food court fair. I immediately tensed up. I wanted some Chick-fil-a French fries and a big banana pudding milk shake…gosh could they make that picture any more delicious looking? But I got a steak salad, poured some vinegar on it and ate it with my bottled water. Sigh……I tell myself there is more to life than “treats” and that I plan to work out later and need the proper fuel. Yeah, yeah, what the eff ever.

After the movie (Priest is totally predictable btw, action is OK, but it was mehhh….) we head to the grocery store and we get the normal Paleo stock. Ray is hungry again – you want to just go home and have another ham lettuce wrap? What I meant was if I have another ham lettuce wrap I will be a complete bitch all night. Ray being the good husband he is said let’s go get some burgers. While we are eating our burgers sans bun – we ate some fries. “Let’s go for it.” I said. Ray asks what I want…..A BANANA SPLIT! It was delicious! We shared a Baskin Robbins – Peanut Butter Chocolate, Strawberry Cheesecake, Oreo Cheesecake in hot fudge, strawberries and peanut butter sauce with whip cream and cherries sprinkled with peanuts banana split. I cherished each bite slowly letting it melt in my mouth. It was cold, creamy, syrupy, soppy, the banana was just the right ripeness, the whip cream did that thing it does where it completely fills your mouth then melts – peanut butter….oh god how I’ve missed you. I’d eat an old shoe if you were smeared all over it…and your warm and drippy.

A coffee….WITH CREAM. Oh my gosh how I miss cream in my coffee!!! So off to Dunkin Donuts we went. Ray wanted a donut, we got an éclair and shared it. The coffee was creamy, sweet and hot. The éclair was flaky and sweet, the chocolate icing was gooey, the pudding was a buttery rich velvet delight. I was satiated. My stress was gone. I felt focused and relaxed.
This was the first time I have cut loose since we went Paleo back in December. It was the first grain I have had other than a few beers. The second time I had ice cream but before I had measured my serving and stressed each bite…..and then measured my glucose levels. The first time I had French fries!

I am not planning on having any of these treats on a regular basis – but it was nice to cut loose and not worry about my cholesterol, blood glucose level, body fat or fueling for performance. My triceps aren’t going to flab up after my junk food binge, my thighs won’t rub, my abs will still be defined. Because I am intense, I am intimidating, I am loyal to Paleo, but like Robb Wolf says, this isn’t a cult, but I still want to be as healthy as I can; that includes body and mind and every once in a while you should let loose – every once in a while should be defined as every few months, not a few times a month.

There is no reason to beat yourself up for wanting to have these treats – they taste great – hell they especially taste great when you don’t eat them for 5 months! But just remember they will wreak havoc on your body in excess; but when you feel yourself starting to feel like you want to sit in a corner and pout while everyone else enjoys a slice of pizza – maybe you should remember “this isn’t a cult” ;-)